the resignation

i just got finished writing my resignation letter.
man, this is difficult.

i suppose you can infer from my first two sentences that i've decided to accept the offer to work for the other company i mentioned yesterday. i took today off from work in order to take my drug test and call the HR representative from the company and discuss some matters. i got satisfactory answers and accepted the offer.
now, the real difficulty begins. i have to tender my resignation with my current company, which will be no easy matter. i've been with the company nearly 6 years and have so inured myself within the grout that holds all the departmental tiles together that my leaving very likely will cause some tiles to come loose. in other words, this will cause some anguish and stress for many, and very likely will lead to a few more defections in the coming weeks. this is really tough to take. i just hope they (the company and the employees i'm leaving behind) will be okay. i'm the fourth person in my department (of eight) to put in their notice, or leave, in the last 3 weeks. wow! i'm pretty sure some heads will roll because of this.

it's kind of scary and kind of serene, this decision. starting a new job is always scary, but having finally made this difficult decision causes me to feel peace and serenity. i know this is the right choice for me, i'm just worried about the others who will be left behind, most of whom i truly care about and like.

i have no idea what to expect at work tomorrow. i am anticipating some shock, some fear in the form of anger, some fear in the form of joking (my favorite manifestation of fear), some anger in the form of real, red-faced anger, and some crying. and, the last two weeks will be difficult having to face these people, all of us knowing full well what situation my decision has caused for them.

the day off was kind of nice: slept in a little, peed in a cup and accidently got it on my hands; kind of like it was a Saturday instead of a Monday.