indolence

doing nothing at all, and it feels oh so good. the wife is out looking at apartments for when we have to move out of this place (after we sell it) and into one for a few months. we are looking for a short-term or month-to-month lease apartment because we'll only be in it for three or four months before our new house is finished.

i'm alternating between the couch and the computer, watching the British Open on tv and answering emails. these lazy days are so few and far between.
i'm going to go back to the couch.

happy happy

got word from my "inside source" at the job to which i have applied and interviewed that things are going very well for me, but that she can't say any more than that. they are very slow, apparently, in making their decision, but things are going well. i hope they make up their mind soon.
and, as a fantastic birthday gift, one of my employees gave me his two-week notice. great! i spoke to the HR guy again today, and he said things are progressing fast in light of this news. i will be getting replacement help faster than i can think. things are going to change. we'll see what happens with this job and the changes, and with the offer i am expecting to get. of course, i'll keep you posted.

so, it's my birthday today. 32, i am. it's not traumatic or anything, i'm only one day closer to death which makes today no different than any other day. but, thank you to those you've wished me a happy birthday. the fact that it's friday certain helps towards that end. we might be going to dinner tonight. might not. it's boiling outside (it's not literally 212 degrees Fahrenheit outside, but it sure feels like it), so the prospect of venturing outside isn't very appealing. we'll see.

and, in celebration of my birthday, here's a birthday poem i wrote some time ago (last year, i think):

happy birthday to me

you turn 35
and there's nobody
waiting at home
to wish you
a happy birthday

you slide a
frozen pizza
into the oven and
take a warm shower

she left two
months ago
and took everything
with her

the house
the car
the furniture
the money
the kids

and your
life


this might be as good a time as any to mention how poetry goes. the above poem is obviously not true. 1) i'm not 35. 2) i'm still married to my first wife (she doesn't like it when i call her my first wife, but it is true). and 3) i have no kids or money or, for that matter, much of a life. however, i got the idea, developed it in my head, wrote it down, edited it and changed a few things. in order for this poem to work i felt "i" needed to be middle-aged. i felt i needed to have kids, be somewhat successful (monetarily-speaking), and then now have nothing. i think it works, but you be the judge.
so, that's the short and dirty of how a poem works. or, at least how it works for me. i get an idea, develop it, write it, edit it and POOF! there's your poem.

they're here

waiting on my doorstep when i got home from work was the package from Bottle of Smoke with the signature sheets to my book. being the nice guy Bill is, he also already bound 10 of my author copies for me (to start disseminating). thanks Bill. you'll get the signature sheets tomorrow.

Bill announced the release of my book, today, too. here's the announcement:

Bottle of Smoke Press is very proud to announce the release of
justin.barrett - 25 Best-Loved Poems of the Future
20 pages of poetry. Saddle-stitched wraps;
ISBN: 0-9759723-8-3
Limited to:
200 Trade copies $5 (+ $2 Shipping)
The first 50 are numbered, signed and come with a letterpressed broadside/checklist also signed by the author.
Available now.
To order, please pay with Paypal, or mail a check along with $2 postage (US) or $3 Postage (The rest of the world) to:

Bill Roberts
Bottle of Smoke Press
902 Wilson Drive
Dover, DE 19904

I accept paypal under the paypal id orders@bospress.net
Please visit our website for this and other great releases.
Shipping gladly combined. Please e-mail with any questions.
Distributor discounts available. Please inquire.

so, this means that the book is officially available for order. support the small press (and me) and order one, please.

well, i spoke to the HR guy this morning. he just wanted a clearer understanding of what exactly is going on in my department. i was very frank with him, telling him everything i could, and also letting it be known that i was actively looking (and interviewing) for jobs elsewhere. he was not happy with that, because he knows that without me my department will seize up like a rusty engine. i told him, too, that i needed some reassurance, if i were to stay, that certain things would happen (i.e. certain people would need to go). he assured me that the process is already in order, and he will be shaking some big trees (in other words, letting the big bosses know) to expedite the whole thing. he gave me a call in the afternoon and asked that i keep him abreast of any offers i might receive. things are beginning to progress, rumors are flying around the company and it might just work out where i won't need to get a new job (which is good as i've recently just surpassed the 5 year milestone and received an extra week of vacation; plus, the new house we are building will be close to this current job and the commute to the job i'm hoping to get would be over an hour from the new place.)

that's all. just remember to buy a copy of my new book.

an acceptance

got word from Nerve Cowboy today that they would like to keep two of my poems. This is what their letter said, "We really liked the geometry of a relationship on the rocks and the ultimate irony of the recently sobered. They will appear in #20 (Fall 2005)." so, two more poems in Nerve Cowboy #20. i had two in #19, and one in #18. a pretty good string.
oh, and if you don't know, Nerve Cowboy is by far the best small press magazine out there. they consistently put out amazing issues, chock full of poetry, flash fiction and art. check it out.

just got back from our pre-construction meeting, where we chose our house exterior and interior colors, amenities (extra bathrooms, crown molding, etc.) and other upgrades (cabinets, appliances, tile and carpet, etc.). we went for more than we wanted (financially) but we can still afford it. and, we'll be happy in the long run.

well, i got that call from HR late this afternoon, just before i was about to leave. i have an 8am meeting with them to discuss some of the ongoings in my department. i don't know what they will say, but i'm sure they aren't too happy to have heard that i was planning on splitting. i'll hear them out and see if we can work out some kind of symbiotic relationship (i.e. i stay and help them out and they pay me what i'm worth, as well as promise to fix a lot of the departmental problems). i'm a little nervous, but i've got them by the shorthairs.

things progress, s l o w l y

no word, yet, on the new job. but, a co-worker (another chemist with whom i worked for four and a half years, and who was my boss for 1 of those years) just put in his two-week notice yesterday. things are getting so crazy at work, now. we are so understaffed, stressed, overwhelmed, underappreciated and overworked, that something has gotta give, lest we break. anyway, this co-worker was summoned into HR to see if there was anything that can be done to retain him. i doubt it'll happen as the new job he found is an amazing opportunity and comes with a huge pay increase. but, he did mention to this HR guy that i was also looking for a new job, and that if the laboratory lost me, they would shut down completely (which is true). i suppose i should expect a call from HR tomorrow. maybe i can use it to get a humongous raise. doubt it.

since i'm talking about work, since it's been the only thing that's been on my mind the past 7 or 8 months and since it's the primary reason i'm in the writing drought i currently find myself, i figured i'd leave you with a work-related poem:

shareholder

Techson Medical Supply
announced that it will
be enforcing a
series of colossal layoffs
due to recent lackluster
profits and increased
shareholder concern.

as a part of our
benefits package we
were able to purchase
company stock options,

which actually makes
us all shareholders.

and, in the wake of this
recent news, we are
all very concerned.

coming soon...

just got word from my publisher, Bill Roberts, of Bottle of Smoke Press, that he received my corrected proof and will be begin printing the signature pages to be overnighted tomorrow morning. this means my next book will be ready July 15, which is otherwise known around my house as "My Birthday". cool!
this chapbook, titled 25 Best-Loved Poems of the Future, will be my fourth collection, and my second with Bottle of Smoke. it will contain 25 poems that i hope everyone will enjoy. if you are interested in a copy, see the Bottle of Smoke website and/or contact Bill. as an added bonus, the first 50 books will be numbered and signed by yours truly, and will include a special letterpressed broadside/checklist of my published items.
Yay!

market analysis

our real estate agent, or at least the one who found us the house we are currently living in, is coming over later tonight to give us her market analysis on what the property is worth. we will be putting the house on the market sometime in september and we want to know how much to list it for. this is the first time we have ever sold a house, so it's kind of scary and kind of exhilirating. i'm pretty sure we'll make some money on the deal as we bought the house as a repo, for quite a few thousand dollars less than it appraised. anyway, that'll be fun. i hope we aren't disappointed.

i've been very behind on my correspondence, both email and snail mail. if i owe you a reply, please accept my apologies. no excuses, just an apology. i will reply soon. if i don't owe you a reply, then i don't apologize to you for anything. consider yourself lucky that you won't be subjected to even more of my banal, bullshit ramblings.

hurricane Dennis

hurricane Dennis is making landfall as i write this. twenty miles east of Pensacola, Florida. my sister, her husband and her two little boys live exactly twenty miles east of Pensacola. they evacuated yesterday to my parents' house in Gainesville (about a five hour drive south east of Pensacola). i just got off the phone with my sister and she sounded scared and concerned. most likely their house is gone. she was able to gather the pictures and paperwork and other irreplaceables, but it can be very disheartening and horrible to lose one's house. i hope everything is okay for her, and for everyone else in the path of Dennis.

on a different note, i was mulling over the interview i had late last week (as i'm wont to do), going over the questions and, more importantly, my answers. one exchange i keep thinking about is when the manager of the department i'd be working in asked me to describe myself in five words or phrases. i was taken aback by this question as all questions up to that point were job specific. off the top of my head, i came up with: smart, funny, open-minded, athletic and ambitious. not bad for a quick and dirty answer, i think.
but, i've been thinking of all the other adjectives i could've used. like ethical, responsible, independent, creative or easy-going. then, i thought of all the adjectives my wife would use to describe me: lazy, annoying, indolent, capricious, arrogant, pedantic and insolent. well, the five i chose, though maybe not the best, are definitely better than any of the ones my wife would've used.
which five would you use to describe me? to describe yourself?