this apartment life

we've been in this apartment about a month now and i've come to realize how good we had it at our house. i've forgotten just how shitty it is to be renting an apartment; living with all these other assholes, renting their apartments.
at this particular apartment complex each unit is given one covered parking space. it's nothing more than a flimsy corrugated sheet of tin propped up by poles. but, it does help keep the rain, sun and (in the winter) snow off the cars. my wife has to park in an uncovered spot (and it's not some chauvinistic thing, it's just that my care is newer and hers isn't, in case you were wondering).
anyway, upon arriving home from work today some cocksucker was parked in my parking spot. i saw a bunch of assholes and dick-knuckles loitering around my stairwell. i pulled right up behind the car and honked my horn four times. they looked over and didn't move, or act like anything they should be concerned about was going down. so, i found an uncovered parking spot, wrote a nasty little note on a slip of scrap paper that i always keep with me (just in case the muse strikes, you know?) and slipped it under the windshield wiper on my way in.
i watched out my window, about 15 minutes later, when two of the cocksuckers (one asshole and one dick-knucle, as it turned out) walked up to the offending car, got in and pulled out. what fucking gall. what moxy. jesus. well, the didn't see the note until they were almost out of the driveway, but i saw them grab it and read it. they laughed, then both stuck their hands out of their respective windows and flipped (i suppose me) off. real fucking funny, asswhipes. i hope it happens again. i'm pretty sure i can take them one at a time. first the asshole, then the dick-knuckle.

on the door of our apartment, too, was a notice from UPS saying they delivered a package for us to the office (a decent feature, I suppose). well, upon arriving at the fucking office, to pick up my package, the shitheads closed a few hours early. GREAT! this package contained my 401(k) rollover information from my previous company. i need to sign the document they are trying to send me and fax it to them by Monday. well, i could've had it all done today if it weren't for these piss-ants.

goddamn, i love living in this hellhole. i CANNOT wait for our house to be done. then we can leave this beloved apartment complex for all the assholes, dick-knuckles, pig-fuckers and cocksuckers to inhabit.

i guess i'm writing this to vent a little, but also because they say the pen is mightier than the sword. i don't agree, though. i sure would've liked to have taken a razor-sharp sword to the two punks and their piece of shit car. what the hell can my pen do? give them an ink stain? maybe write offensive words on their skin and clothing? fuck it. give me the sword.

this animal life

waiting in my mailbox when i arrived home from work today was none other than Christopher Cunningham's newest collection, the winner of the 2005 Nerve Cowboy Chapbook Contest, Thru the Heart of This Animal Life, A Measure of Impossible Humor. if you don't know, yet, Cunningham is one of the best living poets in America today. that's a bold statement, i know, but i will back it up.
how? well, my Hemispherical Press will be releasing Cunningham's next book, Upright Against the Savage Heavens, in the first half of 2006. so, if you buy Cunningham's current book from Nerve Cowboy, and you don't like it, i'll give you a copy of Upright. i am THAT convinced that you'll dig his stuff. so, go to Nerve Cowboy's website, get the address and send them the $6 for the book.
you can thank me later, with a beer, if we ever meet (or if we've already met, when we meet again).

speaking of poetry books, i bought two collections of Billy Collins's work -- Nine Horses and Sailing Alone Around the Room -- the other night. they are pretty good; rife with great images and those ironic twists that i'm fond of. it's amazing this guy was our Poet Laureate considering his style of writing. gives me hope that one of our brethren (or sistren?) will make it big. but, i wonder what Collins has that some of us don't? an academic pedigree? maybe. good friends in high places? perhaps. it certainly isn't talent. there are a bunch of poets struggling in the small (and unknown) press with just as much talent as Mr. Collins. either way, they're good collections.

in the end, though, i'll take This Animal Life and Upright any day of the everloving week.

are you serious?

so, our great and prescient president sees that his constituents are grumbling about the long-rising gas prices (which have only gotten worse due to the two recent hurricanes that have ravaged the south in the past month), so he suggests that we drive our cars less.
wow, what a brilliant idea. only, it won't work. a lot of us NEED to drive our cars. with the public transit system being as horrendously inadequate as it is in much of America, driving is the only choice.
so, the genius in DC tells us to drive less. not that he wants improvements to the gas efficiency of current combustion engine technology; not that he's willing to spend money on fuel cells and other alternative fuels; not that he's looking into improving the public transit infrastructure in every major and minor city in the US. nope. we are to stop driving our damn cars. what the hell?
moron.

now, how exactly did this dolt get elected into office for a second term?

been awhile

it's been awhile since my last post. it's a pretty slow period in life right now. i'm still struggling to figure things out at the new job, waiting in the tiny apartment for our new house to be built, writing absolutely NOTHING in the interim.

one poetry-related thing: i did receive my copy of remark. #37. it's a fine issue with poetry by the likes of ron lucas, Brian McGettrick, William Taylor, Jr., Chris Kornacki, J.J. Campbell and Glenn W. Cooper, among others. check it out!

i hope to have more things to update about in the near future.