burning bridges

i've been giving this a lot of thought lately (no reason really...i swear). my parents always told me to never burn bridges if i were to ever leave a job; no matter what the circumstances, no matter how much i'd want to. their rationale was that you never know when you might need that person's help in the future, or when your paths might cross again.

it's a good thought, in theory, but i say FUCK THAT. arson is fun.

here's why i think burning bridges is not only acceptable, but often your only option:
1) it can actually lead to some change for those coworkers you are leaving behind whom you like. i've seen, on more than one occasion, where comments made during an exit interview sparked some change in the management. it's not common, but it does happen.
2) it makes you feel better. maybe not the best reason, but it's true.
3) it's always best to be truthful. what does sugar-coating your feelings accomplish? your boss is a douchebag. he's a perfectionist, a nano-manager and ill-suited to communicating effectively to cats, never mind other humans. let it be known, people. plus, if you were to ever find yourself on a bridge that leads in his direction you'll wish it were burned. so burn that motherfucker down.

this really has nothing to do with anything topical or pertinent to being a poet, but it's been on my mind lately. exit interviews are ridiculous, anyway. but, if you truly want to accomplish something, spew away. denigrate everyone you feel deserves it. let them sort through the ashes for whatever remains. fuck it, you've got a new job with a whole new set of assholes to deal with.

driving

i want to take some time to discuss driving. we all do it, and we all hate it. or, at least i do. why do i hate driving so much? it's because of dipshits like you (well, actually i hope you guys aren't the dipshits out there, but maybe you are). i drive over 50 miles a day to commute to my ever-loving job, half of it highway and half of it residential; and it never fails that i will encounter at least one (usually multiple) asshole/idiot/timid driver every single day.

so, what do i see out there? i see people who don't drive with a purpose. driving without purpose is far and away my worst pet peeve. if you don't know where you're going, and you don't know how to get there, and you don't know when you're expected to be there, then do not get in your car and start driving around. if you do have places to be, then fucking go there already. driving without purpose and on a cell phone is liable to get you killed (and not necessarily by an accident, unless me ramming my arm down your throat and pulling out your spine can be considered an accident).

i also notice a shit-ton of people who brake inappropriately (which might not be a big deal when going 20mph, but is a big fucking deal when going 75 on an interstate), who are too timid to make the lane change ("i see someone in my side-view mirrors, oh god...he's nearly 4 miles close to me...what do i dooooo?"), who are too preoccupied with their breakfasts or phone conversations or whatever the fuck else they are doing to realize i'm on their ass in the left lane and flashing my lights for them to move the hell over.

things to watch out for:
1) cars with temporary tags. they are new cars, or at least new to the driver. the driver is either still figuring out the car, or not willing to drive it properly lest they scratch their precious vehicle. be aware of these folks, and prepare for sudden, inexplicable braking as they learn the intracacies of their brakes.

2) Kias, Daewoos, Suzukis. i have no idea why these cars have drivers who have no idea what they hell they are doing, but it seems to be true. now, i know i'm generalizing here. hell, i drive a Saturn and Saturns could easily be lumped in there as well. anyway, invariably, whenever i'm behind a Kia i get caught up in some kind of morass of idiocy as the driver attempts to make an exit on the Interstate, from the left lane, at 35mph or some other such dumbfuckery. the new breed of tiny car is also a part of this, as are the hybrids. (Yaris, Scion, Matrix, Prius, etc.). i have no idea why this is so, but maybe morons are just attracted to this sort of car. i don't know.

3) BMWs. just watch out. trust me.

okay, i'm done with my rant. i apologize if i offended you. if i did, it’s about time you learn how to fucking drive. if i didn't, you probably deal with this crap every day, too, and nodded along.

go ahead and leave a comment of your driving pet peeves. i’m sure there are many. hell, maybe i’m the kind of driver that pisses you off. maybe you can’t stand those drivers who know where they’re going, how to get there and when they need to be there. if so, tough shit.

watch where you’re going folks, follow the flow of traffic and don’t drive distracted. and always be sure to have a purpose for getting behind the wheel.
be safe.

is there anybody out there?

doubtful.
there were very few out there when i wrote this damned thing full time. but, maybe...just maybe...there are some scragglers who check this thing in the hopes that i'll come back. today is your lucky day, you sick puppies (just as today is a shitty day for all editors...you thought you were rid of me. well, think again douchebags!) -- seems i'm back.

of course, my mother is probably the only one who checks this thing anymore. so, HI MOM! love you.

so, what brought about this ignominious return?
well, my good friend Hosho McCreesh informed me, a week ago, that it had been a full year since i hung up my spurs for the soft days of margaritas and 'smores. i hadn't realized. seems like it's been both longer and shorter than that. either way, a year is a long time and i've used it to recharge, to think, to learn, to read all the shit being published out there by all those poemwhore hacks and i realized i needed to rejoin the fray. a sort of attempt to clean up this mess.
just kidding. sorta. but not really.

anyway, lots of shit has happened in the intervening year. maybe i'll get to it in future posts. maybe not. i'm sure i'll hit some of it (like my many trips to Luxembourg and Tangiers and Laos, all the bands i hung out with while they were on tour, all the novels i wrote and won Pulitzers and Nobels for, all the concept cars i helped design and got to drive...maybe i'll get to all that if i have time and run out of interesting stuff to talk about).

what's that? i've dodged the question long enough, you say?
well, the answer is yes. i'm writing again, though haltingly and sparingly, but that's okay. i've become the Stuart Smalley of the small press world. (you remember him, right? i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.) only my mantra is: i'm sick, i'm tired and doggone it, shut the fuck up because i just don't have the time for your incessant whining you fucking, little pansy! oh, and you smell.
i've also decided to give myself a break, and vowed to not put so much pressure on myself to create. i'd lost the enjoyment of writing poetry and when that happened it was only a matter of time before i quit. i'm looking to rediscover that enjoyment again. so far, so good.

work sucks. thought i'd throw that in there. hate it. wish it didn't exist. hate most of the fools there. Utah is a spectacular place, but it sure does breed it's fair (or more than fair) share of weird, foolish, socially-inept people. happens to be that a majority of them work at my company. lucky me.

what else? not much. just glad to be back. and hope to slowly get back into the scene. hope you saved a spot for me.