apartment hell, part II

in the last installment, i talked about some ass-hat who parked in my reserved parking spot. bad enough as that is, i've more things to discuss.
take this morning for example. today is Sunday. a day of rest. for me at least. well, this morning (and every fucking Sunday morning since we've lived here) the dipshits upstairs get up at 7 in the morning and make a shitload of noise as they get ready for church (it has to be church. why? because where the fuck else are they going this early EVERY fucking Sunday?) anyway, right on time, they wake up (which means the wife and i wake up) right at 7. FUCK THIS! church can fucking wait. CHRIST! whatever happened to sleeping in Sunday morning. if a god doesn't understand this and to hell with it.

oh, and the very first night we slept at the apartment (a Saturday night as it were) someone had a party.
but first, let me describe the layout complex. our area of this humongous place consists of 3 building arranged like a horseshoe around a central parking area. each building has 24 units, so there are 72 units to this area. there are bound to be a few (even more in an apartment setting) assholes out of 72 families.
anyway, this first night someone had a party. that's fine. i spent a good 50% of my university time at parties in a apartment complex. however, at 2 in the morning we were rudely awoken by some cocksucker yelling across the parking lot about wanting to kick some guys ass. it was loud, but since it was across the parking lot, the voice was muted and echoed.
"you pushed my girlfriend!" he was yelling, his voiced strained from emotion and alcohol. i imagined his face was red and he was sweating. his chest puffed out, his fists in balls.
"you pushed my girlfriend, asshole!" at the top of his lungs.
it died down a few minutes, then RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR WINDOW (we live on the bottom floor) we heard him. it literally sounded as if he was IN OUR ROOM!
"YOU PUSHED MY GIRLFRIEND!"
then the voice of a young girl, equally drenched in emotion and alcohol, pleading with her boyfriend to leave.
"PLEASE, JORDAN, I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!"
"DON'T FIGHT HIM, JORDAN, LET'S JUST GO!
"PPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAASSE!"
yes, Jordan, i thought. listen to your girlfriend and GO THE FUCK HOME!
"YOU PUSHED MY GIRLFRIEND. I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"
just then, a deep, booming voice from across the complex yells, "shut the fuck up!" you could tell this dude was big. pissed. and ready to roll. i was only two of the three, but lacking the most important part (namely, being "big") i try not to get myself into compromising circumstances, lest i get my ass handed to me.
anyway, the emotion finally drained, the alcohol was absorbed and Jordan apparently listened to his girlfriend.
then, of course, the scrotum-lickers upstairs woke up at 7 so they could kneel before the power and glory of their lord. FUCKING FABULOUS!

lastly, our apartment complex allows pets (which is an rarity here in Utah) so there are TONS of pets around. this is also the reason we chose this place. anyway, there is a leash requirement because of there being so many dogs and so much uncertainty when dogs get together. well, apparently this leash requirement doesn't apply to everyone. and from my quick and dirty calculation, it only applies to about half of us. we're supposed to rat on those who don't use leashes, and if we do we get a cut in our rent. it's tempting. especially when you see some punk cocksucker walking around with his dog without a leash (the dog is, of course, always either a boxer, pitbull, rottweiler or a doberman pinscher) and the dude is wearing a tank top and has a barbed wire tatto armband, or a Yosemite Sam on his bicep or something equally lame. it's hard not ratting on them. it's hard not walking up to them and just slugging them in the side of the head.

anyway, this place sucks, but i know it's no worse than the millions of similar apartment complexes across America (and probably across the world). these places suck. they harbor the lowest of human filth and do nothing more than make me appreciate the fact that i've accomplished enough with my life that this stint is only temporary.