28 June 2006

the letter

i've edited out the sensitive parts of the letter i sent Holmes Homes and the community we are moving into (called Daybreak) back in December of 2005. you will find it posted, in its entirety, below.

but, first, some backstory and a few tidbits for clarity's purposes. Daybreak is the name of the planned community we are moving into. the land is owned by a company called Kennecott, who operates the largest open-pit copper mine in the world. anyway, the copper in the mine is not infinite and will eventually run out. Kennecott bought up land around the Oquirrh mountains (which form the western range surrounding the Salt Lake Valley, and where the copper mine sits) years ago for future use. they decided a planned community would be best. this planned community is our Daybreak. check out the Daybreak website if you're interested in more of what it's all about.

other points of clarification:

1) in the letter, i mention a place called Dugway. the Dugway Proving Grounds are to the west of the Salt Lake Valley, beyond the Oquirrh mountains and smack dab in the middle of nowhere, save desert and tumbleweed. it is where the military tests, stores and destroys chemical and biological weapons (including the ultra-deadly, and all-around nasty, VX nerve gas). there is NOTHING appealing or enjoyable about this place AT ALL.

2) Daybreak's slogan is This is getting good. i use a play on this slogan throughout my letter, so when you read this you'll understand what's going on.

that's about it. as i said, i sent this letter to both Holmes Homes and Daybreak. i never heard from Daybreak regarding it (no surprise), but i did hear from Holmes Homes. it little good as things just kept being delayed and fuck-ups kept occurring.

lastly, i will add some links within the letter that might help explain some terms that are obscure or not in common use. realize, obviously, that these links weren't present in the letter as it was a traditionally mailed letter and links don't work on paper. haw! :)

okay, so here's the letter:


Dear Holmes Homes:

My wife and I signed a contract with our real estate agent on June 28, 2005 to purchase a Sawgrass house, Elevation "B", through Holmes Homes. We were very excited to be buying a house at Daybreak, and with Holmes Homes, after having seen the model homes, the future plans for the Daybreak community and all the included amenities. So excited, in fact, that we never felt the typical buyer's remorse after signing the contract and writing a check for our earnest money. Nor did we feel this remorse after choosing our upgrades and options, and writing another check for the flooring deposit. We were excited because we were getting in on a great house, in a great neighborhood; early enough that it was affordable, but late enough to know that things were going to be great. After all, the Daybreak billboards and advertisements around town said it all: This Is Getting Good. In my opinion they were downplaying it. This Is Getting Great.

At the time we signed the contract, we were told ground was slated to be broken on our property sometime around the end of September. Add six months for construction time, and this put the completion date for our house around the end of March, give or take. With not wanting to sell our current house during the winter months, we made preparations to sell it as soon as possible; moving into a one-bedroom apartment in the meantime. We sold our house the last week of August, giving us (by the calculations we were told) around seven months to live in the tiny, one-bedroom apartment.

("Why such a small apartment?" you might be asking. Good question. Well, since we were going to be living in the apartment for less than a year, it was imperative that we find a place that allowed us to break the customary one-year lease. Very few places in the Salt Lake Valley offer this. And those that do require extra money on the rent. Therefore, we could only afford a one-bedroom. Plus, all of our furniture and most of our belongings are packed in storage units until we move into our new house, so unless we got a huge three-bedroom apartment, which we definitely couldn't afford, this was the best we could do.


Well, seven months in a tiny place without most of your belonging is nothing when the end result is moving into a great, new place. September came and went. We visited Daybreak on a weekly basis; driving out there to see the progress (or lack thereof) of our lot. October blew in. No work. No word from Holmes Homes. We called our agent and she said things were are a bit behind, but to be patient. It should happen any day now. Each week construction is delayed is another week we have to suffer in this breadbox of a home. Fine. The end justifies the means. After all, This Is Getting Good. Yeah, good is about right.

October blustered into November. I'll give you one guess on the status of our house? Wrong! It was NOT yet started. I know. I know. "How can this happen?" you say. I don't have the slightest idea. We called our agent again and heard some bogus explanation of a shortage of lumber and concrete due to hurricanes. Well, maybe it's not bogus, but that's a bad excuse since it doesn't really explain the delay up to the hurricanes. Okay, fine. So there was a lumber and concrete shortage. Fine. We can't really complain about that, now, can we? Nope. We'd be selfish, heartless people. So, we remain concrete in our resolve and lumber on.

And, we waited. We kept visiting Daybreak, waiting for the lake to be filled (which, incidentally, we were told was to happen the last week of August and had yet to be done by the end of October. My guess is a shortage of water due to hurricanes. Or drought. Or something. Right?). We kept visiting with the small hope that we'd find something on our lot. So far, out of the 12 or so visits we made out there we found three new pebbles; a small, feeble thistle growing out of a mound of dirt; and, something I am really excited about, a white splotch from seagull droppings. This Is Getting Annoying.
The end-of-November festivities roll around and the wife and I take a trip to Florida to visit family. We wanted to have pictures of the construction of our new house to show them; but, instead, we settled for a picture of our seagull dropping splotch and a stylized drawing I did with crayons and construction paper. We stayed for two weeks, hoping that something exciting would happen while we were there. On the flight back we passed over Daybreak. We saw the lake had been filled (finally) and traced the roads to our lot. No dice. Nothing had changed. I swore I saw a new pebble, but I knew it was impossible to see that kind of detail from the window of a 737 at that height. The houses around ours were going up, now, though. Yet, still nothing on our lot. Who knows why ours is being delayed? Who knows? Do you?

Then, just when all hope has been dashed, we get an email from our agent letting us know that we have been assigned a liaison between construction and homeowners so that we can get better, more timely, information. Great. This Is Getting Better? We'll see.

We call this liaison and he tells us that our house is slated to break ground within 45 days. A quick mental calculation tells me that 45 days is a month an a half. It was early December when we called him, so a month and a half puts it at the end of January. And this is assuming he was telling us the truth instead of blowing smoke. We'll take his word for it. The end of January. Fine. Add six months, and it looks like our house will be done around the end of July, give or take. Ridiculous…I mean: This Is Getting Ridiculous.

This liaison also mentioned that Holmes Homes had made many unrealistic promises regarding construction dates. He also mentioned Daybreak making unrealistic promises regarding permits and other things. Fine. I understand his need to pacify the angry people he has been given. He's pointing fingers at Daybreak and himself (Holmes Homes) but it still doesn't explain how people in a situation like us are supposed to feel. We sold our house quickly, and early, based on erroneous information we were given. We moved into a tiny apartment (too small for a Christmas Tree, even. No lie.), because it was all we could afford with the steep lease-breaking and storage fees. Now, if construction is delayed any further beyond January, we will be paying this lease-breaking fee for NOTHING. How's that for things getting good? Or, we could've sold the house in the spring and had ourselves a nice, little, winter-holiday season, instead of the cramped, angry one awaiting us. This Is Getting Old.

"But," you say, "you signed a contract, Mr. Barrett. And, you are bound by this contract. Plus, if we fail to honor said contract by not building the house within a year you can get out of your contract without any loss of your money."

Well said. Yes, this is true. We DID sign a contract. The contract isn't what concerns me (more on this later, because new information has since come to light where we were given very bad information regarding our house. But, like I said, more later). We still want the house. What concerns me is that you, Holmes Homes, are also bound by this contract. You are bound by what you, and your representatives, tell your customers. We acted upon bad information, told to us by your agents. We were given a construction date off by 4 months (and this is assuming the end of January is right. That still remains to be seen.). Plus, even if we were to get out of our contract without "losing" any of our money, where does that leave us? In a tiny apartment with our belongings in storage, no house to move into, starting over on the house-buying process. Sounds great. You've got us by the short-hairs and you know it. So what if YOU break the contract. We have nearly $5,000 invested in this house that we CAN get back, but you've already made how much on the interest of that money? And, will we see any of that interest? Nope. Raw deal for us, then. Oh, but if we were to break this contract. If we were to have given you bad information month after month. Oooh, I would've loved to see what would've happened. Actually, I take that back. No, I wouldn't. I'm quite certain you guys are litigious and would've sued me for everything I own, and half of everything I don't. This Is Getting Me Very Angry.

We interrupt this letter to bring you a small moment in the life of Mr. and Mrs. Barrett, living in a thumbnail of an apartment and under contract with Holmes Homes for a house in Daybreak:

Julee: "Do you want to drive out to Daybreak today to see if there's anything new going on with our house?"

Justin: "Why? You know they haven't done anything."

Julee: "Come on. We might be surprised."

Justin: "You heard what the guy said. 45 days. We've got another month until anything is scheduled to begin. And that's IF the guy was telling us the truth."

Julee: "Is there anything we can do? This Is Getting Ridiculous."

Justin: "No. There's nothing we can do. We can forfeit the $5,000 we have put down for earnest money and deposits or we can just wait it out, hoping that someone will eventually take notice of what the hell is going on here and start do something about it. By the way, I already used the ridiculous thing earlier in the letter."

Julee: "Okay, fine. But, what about the extra money we're paying for rent so we can get out of the lease early?"

Justin: "Lost money, I'm afraid. Trust me, Holmes Homes doesn't care. Daybreak doesn't care. Hell, the reason all this is being delayed is because they are selling TOO MANY houses. Which means they are making TOO MUCH money. You think they care about us and our concerns?"

Julee: "But, don't they have to finish the house within a year of the contract date?"

Justin: "Ah. That's the tricky part. They get 365 days from the date of execution of the Earnest Money Agreement PLUS 60 days for them to finish…"

Julee: "Oh. Well, that's 14 months. Okay. 14 months, then. Still, we can rescind the contract after 14 months."

Justin: "But, here's the kicker. After that 60 days we may elect to cancel the contract and receive any consideration paid, meaning our earnest money and flooring deposits, LESS the cost of any special additions or modifications made at the request of the buyer."

Julee: "What does that mean?"

Justin: "Well, it means we can cancel the contract, get our money back (interest-free, of course), and start all over looking for a new house so that we can move out of this matchbox of an apartment. Then, we have to hope to high hell that they don't claim that we requested any special additions or modifications."

Julee: "But we haven't."

Justin: "Yes, I know. But we did request that they honor their word and actually build our house. I suppose that could be seen as a special request."
Julee: "That's absurd."

Justin: "I know. But, This Is Getting Absurd."

Julee: "Good one."
Justin: "Thanks, honey."

We now return to our regularly scheduled letter:

Before we were rudely interrupted, I was talking about how we received a notice that we now have a construction liaison. I also mentioned that we had received some recent news regarding our house that had angered us quite a bit.


Last week (
December 13, 2005) we received an email from our real estate agent that included an attached letter letting us know of some corrections to information she gave us when we signed our contract. The corrections were more than just corrections, though. They were very major changes to what we were told we will be receiving regarding land/fence and landscaping. And, since our decision to purchase this house and the corner lot that came with it was contingent upon the information she supplied, this is a serious matter to us. It is a serious breach of contract, in our minds. But, again, you have us by the short-hairs, so a breach in contract is little matter to you, isn't it? You have our money and our signatures. You control everything regarding the building and sale of our house. "Move along, little peon, there's nothing to see here. We have you by the short-hairs, little man, and you'll do as I say. And, you'll like it! Or, at least you'll feign liking it!"

Anyway, this letter listed two major changes to what we thought we were getting. First, we will now be required to maintain the side and front parts of our lot. When we signed the contract to purchase this house we were told that our HOA fees (that will eventually be $70/month) would go towards maintaining our front and side lots. "What a fabulous thing," we thought. "It's almost too good to be true," we thought. Turns out it was. So, our $70 a month now goes towards what? The maintenance of the common areas? Towards the privilege of having Daybreak tell us what we can or cannot do via the CC&Rs? (It's a great thing, isn't it, to have the people in your development PAY you to tell them what to do. That's a brand of totalitarianism that Mussolini himself would find ironically sublime.) Fine. Whatever. We will take care of our front and side yards. Big deal. I don't like that I was lied to, but big deal.


But, this is the kicker. This is the one that really got our goat: we now find out that the 12+ extra feet of our corner lot, for which we paid $1,000 will no longer be fenced in. This was a major selling point for us, and the ONLY reason we sprang for the corner lot. So, now we've wasted another $1,000. It's almost a dream come true, wasting money like we were wealthy. Feels good.


But. But. Not to be outdone; we are also still responsible for the upkeep of this unfenced area. So, we buy this land, own this land, but cannot USE this land. However, we are still responsible for the upkeep of it. This land was purchased by us for an additional $1,000, yet will be utterly useless to us. It is being given over (for all intents and purposes) to Daybreak for easement and curb appeal, AND we will now have to lug our lawnmowers outside of our fences and around the corner to mow this unused, expensively-wasted strip of land. Magnificent. This Is Getting Out Of Hand.


Can we sign up for more of this kind of thing. Can we PLEASE pay you MORE money to have MORE land that we CAN'T have fenced in and will be UNABLE to use. That would be great. Is it at all possible for us to get screwed over in more ways? I don't know. Maybe.


Maybe a letter like this will be arriving sometime soon:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Barrett,


We regret to inform you that the lot you purchased through Holmes Homes in the Daybreak community has been moved to the other side of the Oqquirh Mountains in a little town called Daybreak @ Dugway™. But, do not despair. Daybreak @ Dugway™ is a beautiful little outpost with views of bunkers and chemical weapons incinerators.

You'll be happy to know that Daybreak @ Dugway™ possesses its own supply of VX nerve gas, which will come in handy in case of an emergency.

(Disclaimer: We are not responsible should these storehouses of nerve gas or chemical weapons leak and poison you.)

We are very excited about the new Daybreak @ Dugway™ development and are confident you will feel just as at home there as you would at the original Daybreak in South Jordan.

Lastly, we want to inform you of the great new desert lake we have planned for Daybreak @ Dugway™. It will, of course, not be a real lake, but, instead, a lake of desert sand that will be available for use to all Daybreak @ Dugway™ residents (for a small service fee, of course).


Daybreak @ Dugway™. This Is Getting Weird.®

Yours very truly,

Holmes Homes and Daybreak



I am very angry about these recent developments. Would I be as angry about them if we hadn't been screwed around with earlier? Probably, yes. The delay of the building of our house was acceptable because, as I said earlier, the end justified the means. Now, you guys are messing with our end, and it's beginning to get a lot harder for us to justify the means with it.


The worst of it, though, is this upfront promising of what we would get that later turns out to be misinformation or outright lies. Why on earth would we have purchased a corner lot (which we purchased, incidentally, so that our dog would have some room to move around) if we knew we wouldn't get that extra space, yet would still be responsible for the land we would be unable to enjoy? Why would anybody purchase a corner lot under those provisions? But, I suppose that's the point to the deception, isn't it? No one would really want to pay an extra $1,000 for a corner lot they couldn't, in reality, use.


"But," I can anticipate you saying, "You'll have the advantage of not having a house on both sides of your property." Good point. Yes, this is an advantage, but is it really worth $1,000? Is it really worth being given extra land that you own, but not really? Is it? I don't need to answer that because you already know my thoughts on this. This Is Getting Where It's Almost Not Worth It.


We know that we are going to be getting a great house. One we're really excited to be moving into, whenever that might actually occur. We know that the equity we will have in the house upon moving in will be insane, and even better than expected. We know that Daybreak will be an amazing community in which to grow old. We know all this. But, even all these great things can't erase the bad taste in our mouths from all the deception and delays and lies. And every single day that we lug our lawnmowers to our side yard, every single day we drive by the little sliver of easement we donated to Daybreak, will just remind us of it.


But, what recourse do we have? As I said before, we can either get screwed out of our $5,000 in deposits and earnest monies AND start all over to find a new house, or we can wait until Holmes Homes can't meet the 365 + 60 day requirement of the contract (which I'm pretty certain will happen), get our monies back (sans interest) THEN start all over. Either way, we're really losing in this proposition. Neither is an attractive alternative.


So, what do we do? A lot of it depends on you. Both Daybreak and Holmes Homes. It depends on what kind of answer I received from this letter (if any). It depends on what other spitballs you send our way. It depends on what other surprises you have in store for us as things move along. As it stands, we've had enough of the surprises. We just want to have our house started. We just want to move in. We just want it to where it's This Is Getting Good, again!

Sincerely,
Justin Barrett

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Begin Transmission

Frimp here.
I remember this letter. You are a smarmy, little prick. I remember we had a guy like you back when I worked on the REDACTED case with REDACTED and REDACTED way back in REDACTED with the REDACTED REDACTED bullshit REDACTED. He was such a fucking pedant, not unlike you; you REDACTED.

REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED!

You think you're just so fucking clever, don't you? And, you just can't help but show it by posting it, huh? Just for that, I've decided to step up reconnaissance on your ass.

Clever your REDACTED way out of this one, punk!

End Transmission

Luis said...

Justin:

Great post/letter. If this did not happen, it would be great fiction. The dialogue between you & Julee, outstanding. I hope everything turns out okay for you at Daybreak from here on. And Frimp? What are you going to do with her? Hope she retires early & clears out of Utah before she falls prey to the Crystal Meth epidemic.

j.b said...

thanks Luis. yeah, if it weren't true, it'd be pretty damn funny.

as for Frimp, she's got enough shit to deal with. after all, she has to wake up every morning to the bone-chilling fact that she is still an annoying bitch.

christopher cunningham said...

a ball buster of a letter. I cannot believe it didn't shame the Daybreak people into giving you a series of babies for devouring to appease your terrible wrath. what madness to be so caught and refucked with very few outs. but good that you are now moving forward. maybe you can capture one of the neighborhood covenant enforcers, chain em up in the now full bath and force them to mow the useless strip of lawn outside your useless fence. the fuckers. good show, HST would've been proud.

Anonymous said...

Tommy here.

yeah, Frimp, I remember you passing that piece of trash around the agency. the kid has some nerve. fortunately, we know where he keeps it, the expiration date, how much he has, etc. no problem if you want him "picked up" and "spoken with."

matter of fact, why don't we go ahead and send a "team" over and "chat" with him at work?

end transmission

j.b said...

oh shit...

well, thanks Chris.
the letter was more an exercise in catharsis than anything else. i enjoyed the smartass voice of it, the literary devices, the letter-within-a-letter...and the little play.

one other thing, when the construction liaison (who is no longer in this position) called me he tried to act all tough and said, "I got your little letter and i read it." fucking arrogant prick.
i almost asked him if he needed help with the big words. funny thing, too, was he GUARANTEED the house would be done by late April at THE LATEST.
damn, i wish i had taken him up on that bet.

anyway, the ordeal is over, now we must deal with the convenant makers and enforcers. don't think i won't be sitting on my porch in my underwear drinking a big old fucking bottle of wine just waiting for the Mormon police to do their best to round me up.

bring it on, Tommy and Frimp. hell, go get Agent .45Freedom in LA. i'll take all 3 of you on. and i'll write a nasty, ironic letter to your superiors! :)

Luis said...

Agent.45Freedom is in LA?

I thought I saw that sweaty bastard sunbathing out by the I-10, potbelly glistening & donuts baking on his monkey tail.

Anonymous said...

You are a ##@@***^^@@***### genuis and much too kind. Where is the Mafia when you need them!!

That letter was the best thing I've read in a very long time - they should build that house for free and then pay you to live in it.

j.b said...

Mom c-
thank you so much. i appreciate the comments. i like the letter and had a blast writing it. i'm afraid the humor and sarcasm was lost on those who received it, but i still get a hoot out of it.

glad it struck a chord.
as for the mafia? good question. boy, could i use a good fella now?!

and wouldn't that be a kick, having a house for free and getting paid to live in it. maybe you're right. they obviously don't know who i am! :)

Anonymous said...

J.B.
Your humor and scarcasm had me rolling on the floor. Makes you wonder though, if those fools had ever been through what you have been through they could appreciate your letter as much as we all have.

Sounds as though they are coming around and you are very kind to acknowledge the good in the owner and hopefully he will come through and show that your assessment of him was correct.

Keep up the good work and have a wonderful 4th of July!

j.b said...

Mom C-
thank you so much. it's true, all we ask for is a little compassion. a little empathy. you're right, if they could only be in our shoes things would be different.

ultimately, i am an honest person, and i'll give credit where it's due. they are trying to rectify the situation and that's what matters.

thank you and i hope you have a wonderful 4th as well! :)