12 October 2008

jealous?



don't be.

it did snow last night, the first snow of the season. this good, i suppose, if you're a skier or other winter outdoor enthusiast.

the bad news is our furnace wasn't clicking on and it's been frigid in the house the last few nights. that night, we had a 6 inch pile of blankets on the bed and it was still chilly. unfortunately, i know nothing about furnaces so we called a guy to come out and look at it.

and

it exploded. no shit. the furnace exploded. nearly killed the guy.

why would a furnace explode, you ask? well, let me tell you (sit back and enjoy this):
our houses here in our beautiful community are literally 7 feet apart from each other. our east wall and our neighbor's west wall form our neighbor's back yard (actually side yard as there is no back yard...and calling it a yard is misleading, it's more of a smallish play area with fences on the north and south end). anyway, this time last year we had a similar problem and it turned out our neighbor's kids (there are 7, so take a pick as to which ones (and the house is only a 3 bedroom but don't ask me how they are situated)) stuffed a big rubber ball down the vent pipe (which is uncovered, and on our east wall) which caused the fumes to back up and the furnace to quit and our carbon monoxide detector to go off (yay!). i told the mother, then, that this was dangerous and to please tell her kids to not do this. PLEASE!!!

guess what?

just guess....i'll give you some time.

well, if you guessed that the same thing happened again, you'll be both wrong and right. the vent pipe was stuffed, but this time with 3 feet of rocks, sticks and pinecones (seriously, you should've seen the amount of crap that jettisoned from the pipe when the furnace guy pulled on it, it was ridiculous)...anyway, it was so stuffed that the fumes built up and the furnace exploded.

we were lucky. the furnace guy was supremely lucky. if he had been any closer he would've had a face full of fireball and maybe worse. he also said this could've exploded the house as it is a gas furnace. i don't know much, but i know an exploding house is general a bad thing.

so, i told the father this time (who is a moron on the highest order, and was out on their white-trash trampoline jumping with his children and acting like an imbecile (okay, he wasn't acting)) and he was like, "oh my" and "oh sheesh" and other non-profane exclamations of surprise...then i heard him tell his kids and they were like, "i didn't do that" and he said "i didn't mean you specifically, but in general just don't stuff things down that pipe"...it appears the mother didn't do anything when i told her last year. maybe she only told 6 of the 7 kids. it's hard with so many kids to make sure you teach them all the right way to act. i mean, with a role model like their mouth breathing father, can you really blame them?

yes, a little.

fucking assholes.

so, $600 dollars later...or, to be more precise, on Wednesday it'll cost us $600. that means 3 more days without heat. fucking awesome!

and, of course, i'm such a non-confrontational pussy that i didn't demand they pay for it. and now i hate myself for not demanding it...double whammy.

anyway, it did snow last night. those pictures are from our bedroom windows. not much, mind you, but it's like 60 degrees in the house right now. i can't feel my fingers, but typing with gloves is impossible.

oh, and before you ask, yes, we are getting a grate put over the pipe, but it will still have holes in it to vent the fumes and i bet you this happens again next year. hopefully, though, no one will die from it. fingers crossed.

UPDATE:
here are some photos of the fated exploded furnace. luckily the cover was already off or it would've been blown across the room. the motor was blown out, though, and a piece of it shattered. also, you i took a photo of the rocks and pinecones and sticks that were stuffed in the PVC pipe venting the furnace. the technician had to cut the pipe to remove the detritus, as you can see:



we won't be able to get it repaired until Thursday, but luckily it's only in the 20s overnight. Jesus! this morning it was 59 degrees when we woke up (that's Fahrenheit for you Europeans, or approximately 15 degrees Celsius). now THAT'S cold!
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8 comments:

mjp said...

Add the grate, but also extend the vent pipe 8 or 10 feet up the side of the house so the little fuckers can't reach it. Home depot, baby. $20. Don't make me come out there and show you how to do it.

When you finish that project, start "mysteriously" shooting the kids with a pellet gun from a hidden spot somewhere. It's not lethal, but it may be satisfying.

When the parents come over, as the inevitably will, just say, "Oh my! Sheesh! Those are some big bee stings! Who knew bees were still hanging around in this cold!"

H. said...

So, it's probably an outlandish over-reaction to just vent your furnace into their duct work--that way THEIR carbon monoxide alarm is tested instead of yours...

Maybe the Mormon faith doesn't think killing neighbors is that big of a deal...

Anonymous said...

Christ on a stick, Justin. This could have been a tragedy. The suggestion of extending the pipe is a good one. Definitely do that.

The douche bag neighbor can kill you and Julee, blab about it at Testimony and be good to go to his Celestial Kingdom and STILL be a god of his own planet.

Of course, the fact that he believes such idiocy, well ...

Danny, the Ukrainian's husband.

christopher cunningham said...

it's so awesome to have fucking neighbors. if they're not chaining an innocent dog to a tree forever, their stupid asshole untrained kids are trying to kill us.

I love humanity, especially the moran parts.

glad nobody died jb.

YAY SNOW!

;)

and I agree with mjp: be a damn shame if some of them 'aggressive winter Utah bees' went a bit nuts and started stinging unruly children and such...

j.b said...

good idea, mjp. we spoke to the guy and he said it's a good idea, but might be risky as the temperature gets so cold here and the furnace emissions aren't THAT hot that they might not make it all the way up. so, instead, we'll be putting a mesh grate over the opening. that should do the trick.

H-
depends on who they kill. another gentile apostate gone...well, good.

Daniel-
you know it...they can have their fucking celestial kingdom. and any planet this imbecile is a god of is one i don't want to ever visit. good christ!

cc-
thanks man...yeah, it was a shocker. shook the whole damn house.

maybe black widows...stashed secretly along the pipe perimeter...hmmm....

Anonymous said...

One word: nannycam. Ha! Since when can I limit myself to one word. Okay, how 'bout this: nannycam, then nailbiting video replay for idiot inattentive parents, then yes! THE BIG REVEAL: presentation, with a flourish, and friends making trumpet sounds with their mouths in the background, of the furnace guy's bill to inattentive parents. It will be the Event of the Year. I volunteer to do mouth trumpets.

Anonymous said...

goddamnit, if you were any kinda man you'd a knocked that imbecile on his ass, I'll tell ya what.

;)

Glenn

Anonymous said...

I have two pellet rifles and pellets.
The good ones you can pump.

Gerard Love