one thing i've noticed on the web (be it on forums, blogs, company websites, whatever) is the sheer lack of proofreading of any kind. spelling errors, grammar errors, plurality agreement errors. it's horrible. and, forums and blogs are the worst. i don't know about you, but when i read a blog or forum post, no matter the subject, and someone starts using grammar incorrectly or spelling words wrong i lose all credibility for what the person is talking about.
so, in that vein, here are some simple tips and rules that might help you out, if you happen to be one of these offenders (i don't imagine anybody reading this blog having this problem because you are probably a writer or, if not, a lover of words, and, therefore, you take care to proofread what you write, or you look up words you might not be sure how to spell, or you're interested in etymology and enjoy finding new words. or, maybe not. maybe it's just me). either way, here they are:
justin.barrett's simple rules of English
here has a homonym. it's spelled hear. it sounds the same when spoken (or thought), but they mean completely different things. here is a place close by. hear is a sense, meaning "to listen." pretty simple, folks, but screw it up and you'll be laughed at and shunned.
there has 2 homonyms. one is their. the other is they're. all three sound the same when spoken (or thought), but they all mean completely different things. there is a place far away. their is the possessive form of they. they're is a contraction, meaning "they are." again, quite simple, but we've upped the ante one word. i'm sure you can handle it, though.
likewise, your has a homonym. it's spelled you're. they sound the same when...etc. your is the possessive form of you. you're is a contraction, meaning "you are." cake.
getting these 3 common homonym errors right goes a long way in making yourself look intelligent and, conversely, getting them wrong goes a long way in making yourself look like a dolt.
now, onto simple errors in spelling:
definately is not a word. it is spelled definitely. you will look like a moron if you spell it definately. trust me on this one.
the phrase is per se, not per say. it's from Latin, so the se portion is pronounced like say, but it's not spelled that way.
vice versa. this is the correct spelling. not vise versa and definitely NOT visa versa (or vica versa). you will sound like a trailer-trash idiot if you end both words of the phrase in "a."
irregardless is not a word. a person cannot sound lazier or more moronic than one who uses the non-word irregardless. regardless means "in spite of everything," so irregardless means the opposite of that, which makes no sense. please, use regardless. but, if you're so damn stuck on the ir- prefix, use irrespective. your speech might sound stilted, but at least you're using real English. other substitutions: either way, no matter.
it's is a contraction, meaning "it is". its is the possessive form of it. if you mean "it is", then use the contraction. if you mean to imply that it owns or possesses something, then use its. it's simple.
and lastly, if you are planning on writing a scathing post for a forum (or blog) lambasting a person's spelling and grammar errors, please be certain you 1) make sure you, yourself, can spell words correctly and use grammar properly, and 2) proofread your diatribe. one common mistake in these diatribes is misspelling the word misspell. that's 2 s's and 2 l's. okay? making an error like that when correcting another's errors is bad form, to say the least.
great, now that that is over with, we can move on.
feel free to submit your own diatribe against my diatribe. or contribute some spelling and grammar errors you've noticed around the web, which get you riled up. this list is definitely not exhaustive, nor meant to be, but is only what i came up with off the top of my head.
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9 comments:
j love your rants. I’m the complete opposite - people would be mistaken in making excuses for my lack of knowledge in regards grammer and spelling, it is in actual fact just pure unadulterated ignorance and the ability to learn nothing new. will have to take more care now with the queen’s england when writing to you.
arse? um, sorry bro, but you're in North America and that's ass. just kidding. you're Canadian, so it's forgivable. glad i could make you laugh.
Queen's England? surely, you mean the Queen's English. as for unadulterated ignorance, there's no better kind of ignorance. if ignorance is bliss, what is unadulterated ignorance? adulterated bliss? now, that's what i'm talking about. adulterated bliss!
justin!!!!!!
I'm laughing...hard....you are too funny...that would be you're too funny...not your too funny!
I see this stuff all the time, too.
Their, There, They're is a pet peeve of mine, too.
Too, To, Two is also one that is on my list.
I have to admit, though, I do have trouble with definitely....there are a few words that no matter how many times I spell check them and look them up in the dictionary...I cannot spell them right and that is one of them. But I spell check everything.
What really bugs me is submissions with these mistakes. I don't know about you guys but I spell check all my submissions....with the spell checker and then, I read them from the bottom up for spelling errors. (I got that tip from a wonderful guy I took a writing class with back in the 80's, William Kelley.)
And Chris, you beasty, it's (it is) ass! What? Are you suddenly from London or something?
I'm just teasing you, beasty!
yeah, Owen did that because he knew it would sell mostly in America and we Americans wouldn't know what the hell he was talking about with "behaviour". "colour" and "labour" and "honour" and "favourite" are all so weird.
another difference between American English and British (or Canadian) English is the use of "z" in place of "s" in words like "realize" or "socialize" or "analyze". "realise", "socialise" and "analyse" looks so odd.
and don't even get me started on the reversal of "er" to "re" on "center" and "theater". :)
I sort of like the "z" replacement thing. It looks softer...more refined! ;)
But the labour thing always throws me.
:)
yeah, i can see that with the "z" and "s" thing, but it still is glaring when i read it.
the extra "u" in "labour" and "honour" is weird. i'm not sure why we (Americans) dropped the "u" but i'm glad we did.
one strange thing out here in the West is the pronunciation of the hard "s" when it follows a vowel. the people out here use a soft "s". Boise, usually pronounced "boy-zee", is pronounced "boy-see" out here. and the name Leslie is pronounced "less-lee" instead of "lez-lee". i'd never heard this kind of pronunciation before. it still freaks me out when i hear it.
Just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed reading your thoughts, views and pet hates on grammar, spelling and now the difference between English and American English. As someone who was cross continentally educated or cross continentally challenged
(imagine sitting in a classroom where you are labouring over the spelling of centre, you are then taken on a 6 hour flight and stuffed into another classroom where all of sudden you are laboring over the spelling of center, all very confusing, so I gave up at looked out the window)
it has been a lot of fun and quite enlightening.
Chris, how can you say the metric system is easier. As a resident of one of Britain’s last colonial outposts (not colonial as in exotic colonial, more just left a bit on the map with the same s**t weather) it’s imperial measurement all the way – inches, feet, yards, miles – I mean now else can you tell the distance to the pub or the length of your penis.
then again Canadians may have coins called Loonies but we follow all our coin denominations with a pee.
Loonies? Is that true, Chris?
In the 70's they tried teaching us stupid American kids the metric system....I don't think it went over well and they stopped. My kids haven't learned about the metric system at all.
justin...you should have seen the looks I used to get in AZ when I tawked about cawfee or my dawg...My NY always comes out and gives me away! :)
But that's okay...I'm a damn Yankee and proud! :)
B McG:
thanks for the kind words. glad you are enjoying them.
as for the metric system, it does make more sense (theoretically), but i was raised on the Old English system so it makes more sense to me intuitively. being a chemist, i can work with metric mass and volumes with ease. i understand the difference between a gram and a kilo, or a milliliter and a liter. but, you tell me something is 15 centimeters long and i have no mental idea of even how long or short that would be. same with 15 kilometers. i still prefer the good old pound, foot and gallon.
Kat:
pronunciation is funny. we (America) has so many different types of accents. my parents are both from the Boston area, so they talk all funny, too. NY and Philly are known for their peculiar accents. as is Chicago. i also spent many years in the South, which is notorious for their unintelligible mumbles. i actually like accents, but sometimes it will get on my nerves (crick for creek is one case i can think of).
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