...about humanity, the walls of reality come crashing down.
first, we stopped by the house today and i took a picture of my house with my cellphone (see photo to the right). realize it's a cellphone, so it's not the best quality, but it's pretty nice for a low-quality cellphone pic.
the house was painted (first time we saw it painted) and we're happy with the color. the door isn't painted yet, but it will be red, so just try to picture that. we're to have red shutters as well.
okay, onto the continued saga of this poet's house. if you remember from last episode we had been contacted by our builder that our tile (which was a killer 13"x13" specimen) was dicontinued by the manufacturer. we received a free upgrade to a better (i.e. larger) tile due to the inconvenience. the tile we chose was 15"x15", which is allegedly a better-looking tile, aesthetically speaking. the color was a deep burgundy with greenish-brown highlights. very nice. not as nice as our original choice, mind you, but still something we could live with.
well, this was Monday. five days later (5!), today, we show up at the house and find that they've tiled our entire house with the wrong fucking tile. a 12"x12" sand-colored tile that looks NOTHING like the tile we chose. this shit is getting ridiculous. how is it that in five days they can completely fuck something up like this? how is it? what is wrong with people? i have little faith in people, but it appears i put too much faith in these dolts. my wife, the brilliant soul that she is, even said on Monday, after we chose the tile, "i bet these assholes fuck this up." i told her there was no way, we JUST chose the tile. all they have to do is truck it to the house and ta-da, it's done. well, the prescience of my wife will never cease to amaze me. she called it. those assholes fucked it up.
so, our house is five months late. they've screwed up the actual building of it (i never mentioned this, but they fucked up in constructing the house such that our living area is 4" too short and we've an extra 4" in the garage; but to further ruin it, they've had to fashion a "jog" in the back washroom area so they could fit a washer AND dryer in there. plus, the 4" is taken off the kitchen which means the island we'll have in there will be squashed up against the counter with only 8 inches of space between it and the opposite counter), they took so long that our original tile choice is no longer available, and now they tiled the house with the wrong goddamn tile.
i know Holmes Homes (our builder) works only in Utah, but if you ever find yourself in need of a builder, and you're also unfortunate enough to find yourself in Utah, i cannot recommend Holmes Homes as a builder. though, i've heard that every fucking builder in America is as bad or worse, i know from first hand the kind of shit that Holmes Homes pulls. seems they got you by the shorthairs and don't mind pulling. our only recourse is the ability to get our of our contract without losing our earnest money. BUT, we lose the home we've been worrying about and wanted, housing prices in Utah are insane so now we can't even afford another house, and we would have to start all over again with this bullshit even if we could. there's really nothing we can do but bend over and take it; and hope they use plenty of lubricant.
anyway, that's the new development on the house. assuming they'll change the tile, this pushes our move-in date even further back. we signed the contracts on this house over a year ago. it was ridiculous in March. now, it's three months beyond ridiculous.
13 comments:
Frimp here:
I guess I owe you and your wife an apology. after you decided on your lovely second choice tile (I would've liked a deeper wine color to accent the brown, but that's me), I had my team go into the house and wire everything up properly. then as the tiles were being laid (the correct tiles), we discovered that one of our Junior Installation Associates, Wiretapping Division had mistakenly added a "Concentrated Hippie Suppression System, High Dose N2O Explosive Release" in addition to your Citizen Monitoring System.
so we had to rip everything out and all we had to replace it with was that sand colored shit. I hate it too, even suggesting to the Team that we go with a desert taupe but they said, "sir, this is all we had at the Agency's Home Fuck Up Division."
you see my problem.
we offer our apologies, and of course, can neither confirm nor deny ANY OF THIS, so taking it up with your builder is exactly the right course of action.
if it's any consolation, we are watching the Holmes people with great interest.
end transmission
what a fucking travesty j.b. I would have someone's nuts in a close personal grip, encouraging them to get their shit together. but it seems like they got you "lubeless" for sure. madness. well, maybe you'll get a chance to "speak" with one of these "gentlemen" one night in some "dark alley" where you might "persuade them" to reconsider the "error of their miserable motherfucking ways."
sorry bro. nothing left to do but smile smile smile.
hey man, thanks. yeah, you're right, all we can do is smile smile smile. we've gone through the right channels and have hopefully gotten it cleared up.
as for you Frimp, i thought it just might be you, and i even said to my wife, "i wonder if this is the work of old Frimpy" and she said, "who the hell is Frimpy?"
"oh right," i said, "i forgot you don't know about him. nevermind." i didn't want to anger her even more (she's an italian, as well you know, Agent Frimp, and she's a fiery temperment that can detonate at any moment. it takes all my might to keep her contained.)
anyway...thanks, Chris. it really is beginning to get comical now. when we saw the tile my wife got livid and called the construction foreman (whose number we have in our cellphone directory we need it so much) and i just laughed. what more can we do but laugh?
Justin:
Just go to the local video store & rent The Money Pit: had a happy ending, I think. Maybe Frimp can recommend something else...
justin!
I love the house. The color is great and the porch is even better. I have a front porch problem.
Hope the rest of the wait time goes fast!
I'm sorry. I was so busy staring at your pretty house that I didn't see that they fucked up! ARGH! That totally sucks....Worse than sucks. That builder, reminds me of Levitt (Not sure I'm spelling that right.) There is a Levittown NY and PA and the houses are practically made of paper! And here in my town they built houses and a good friend of mine lives in one. During the first hurricane in 2004, all the tiles on her roof blew off. The house was four months old.
Sorry to hear they are screwing up left and right. I'll keep sending good vibes. :)
to think that here in Norn Iron I went to a secondary school where academic achievement came behind learning how to live on benefit for the rest of your life, how to live on benefit and thieve on the side for the rest of your life, become ‘involved’ or get a trade. I missed the boat there. If only I had paid more attention I too could now be a brickie, plasterer, joiner or tiler with a green card, working half days, doing a half assed job and getting paid for it.
sorry for your hassles j – hope the clouds clear soon – must say, the outside looks great.
thanks guys.
first, the dirt/lawn is because it hasn't been put in yet, you bastid! :) not sure when it'll be sodded, but it will be eventually.
thanks for the kind sentiments, guys. i just got off the phone with the construction foreman regarding the tile fuckup and he guaranteed me it will get fixed. i suppose i've no choice but to trust him.
i've still decided, though, to write a second scathing letter to the builder to inform them of our distaste and dissatisfaction.
Brian-
living off the gubment sounds fine. boy, i wish i had low standards and no work ethic so i could live off the dole. what a life...
yes, as a matter of fact he is, smart ass. he's living in the master suite, and we live in the unfinished basement (R. McD. is a bit of a selfish ass).
got your book yesterday, but got too busy to make a post about it. will do that, properly, tonight. good stuff and thanks, Casey!
my sister has a red door.
J.B.
I sort of feel your pain with the house stuff. We walked into ours one day after it had been framed in and walls were up and I asked my husband "isn't there supposed to be a door here for the guest bathroom"- sure enough they had boarded up the bathroom. Of course this is not as bad as you've had it, but man, why don't they hire workers who can read. It is insane. I can also relate to your wife's ethnic background - I'm also Italian and the thought of this INSANE act nearly put me over the edge. So sorry you've had to go through this - best of luck and hopefully it will all work out for your family's good.
mom c-
thank you so much. it IS amazing how these people can mess something up like that, huh? we have friends who are building across the way from us and they had their whole upstairs completely wrong. the layout was for a completely different-style house.
crazy.
thanks for your empathy. sometimes it helps to know that it's not just US that it happens to, you know?
as for the hot-blooded Italian thing. usually it ain't a bad thing, but boy when the stick of dynamite blows...watch out, man. :)
One things for sure - if your building a house, you had better be there every day and be on top of everything that is happening.
Yea, that dynamite went off more than a couple of times during my transition but I've settled down enough now that my family can be around me without the threat of being either hit, bit, slapped or just hollered at. Oh well!
Keep on keeping on and good luck!!!
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