04 July 2006

a clear sign the end of the world is nigh

if this doesn't make you squeemish or sick to your stomach, then there's no hope for you.

that being said, i can't wait to purchase one. i'm gonna name him Gene. i'm so excited.

16 comments:

christopher cunningham said...

this can't be real. this has to be satire. it has to be.

and if not, mine will be called "Brian that is called Brian."

wonderous mysterious magical.

jesus.

christopher cunningham said...

cynthia calls em "sea monkeys for the 00's."

too funny. as they say on the site, "they are biological material and therefore 100% recycleable." very green.

and in a variety of colors too!

and only grow hair under the armpits!

how cute!

Anonymous said...

http://www.newscientisttech.com/channel/tech/mg19125586.300.html

I'd prefer one of these!

christopher cunningham said...

glenn:

couldn't get the link up. maybe the human-animal hybrid community is up in arms about all this "freakbashing" and "genipet" hullaballoo, this "genetic engineering" kerfuffle.

I know my own GenPet "Brian who is called Brian" is more than happy in his shrinkwrapped new home on a shelf next to my latest poetry book.

looks good up there,actually. very quiet and well-behaved.

**sniff** I'm just so proud...

j.b said...

freaky, huh?
i've no idea if it's satire or real (but i'm leaning towards real, it's too good to be satire).

seamonkeys for '00, brilliant. that's exactly what it is.

it's so fucking creepy. who would ever come up with something like that? jesus.

my genipet Gene is doing the dishes right now. next, laundry. i figure i own him, and as such i can make him do whatever i want. i'm thinking of planting a garden and having him tend to it. rice and cotton.

Chris, maybe we can get Gene and Brian who is called Brian together (i'm not positive mine is male) and we can breed an ultra-genipet. you game?

j.b said...

it appears this is actually NOT real and nothing more than a satirical artistic statement.

kudos to the artist.

but, i'm a little sad that i won't ever get to own Gene. and to breed him into supermegaultra-genpets. i planned on breeding an entire race with which to take over the world.

muhahaha.

instead, i'll just ponder my meager and trite existence.

christopher cunningham said...

well, I don't know what kind of game the "artist" is playing, but "brian that is called brian" is right now, as we speak, being tossed around by the dog. really. I can hear him/her/it mewling softly, I don't think in pain, more like, I dunno, satisfaction? yes, that must be it. content to be with its new 'family.' so I have one right now, he/she/it is real and will, I imagine, perish if I step on the damn thing.

ewwww. it's looking at me. best put it back in its shrinkwrap.

ugh. I wonder if it's still under warranty.....

j.b said...

aw man,
you're lucky. mine was revoked by that motherfucker Frimp!

Gene, wherever you are, i miss you and love you dearly. you will not be forgotten.

as for a warranty, i doubt it. i'm pretty sure it's an as-is policy, nor is there any gen-pet lemon law.

man, i miss Gene. and i was so looking forward to having a Gene and "Brian that is called Brian" reunion. talk about fun?

as long as they both don't stare at us.

christopher cunningham said...

tragedy.

he was eaten by Stella.

she is still licking her lips. BwicB must've been quite tasty.

c'est la vie, in the world of strange misproductions of nature.

* weeps softly *

j.b said...

**taps**

BwicB was a goodly fellow. small, sure. but don't let his diminutive size fool you for BwicB had a heart twice the size of any normal man.

i still remember, quite fondly, the first day i met BwicB. he stared at me with his little beady eyes, trying to surmise my intent. i avowed my innocence to him, assuring him i was not there for ill.

soon began a long and fruitful relationship. BwicB and i had many a late, creative night spent drinking copious amounts of red wine, listening to good twangy guitar music and writing wry, little poems on curled, legal pads of paper.

i will miss you, brother.

peace.

**taps**

Anonymous said...

http://www.newscientisttech.com/channel/tech/mg19125586.300.html

Hmmm, works for me.

j.b said...

i know...i'm a moron.
oh well.

maybe i was just HOPING it was real and thus convinced myself of its verity.

the Odo(u)r Saver. nice.

Luis said...

If genpets were real, I'd name mine el diablo. But I'm sure Agent.45Freedom would deport it on the spot, or elope with it, and make babies with it once it was older, and little diablos with monkey tails rule the border, keeping non-terrorists out.

Luis said...

"would" rule the border...

christopher cunningham said...

hilarious, LCB....

j.b said...

good stuff.

alas, there is no Gene or BwicB or El Diablo.

alas.