birthday gift

we are moved.
the impossible or the seemingly impossible finally occurred. we moved.

we are slowly making our way through endless boxes of shit. tossing that which we don't need, or won't fit or we have two of, and finding a place for the rest. my new writing room is partially set up (a desk with my computer and typewriter, so far) and the rest in boxes waiting for me to muster the energy to got through it.

and, there is no better birthday gift i can think of than to be moved in, set up and ready to continue on with the rest of our miserable lives.

now, if i can just figure out what the hell this switch does.

there are only so many of us...

I am sitting here drinking cold coffee in the oppressive Georgia heat. the crickets are a staccato chorus outside my broken windowpanes, their chatter vibrating thru my heavy mind. I press the cracked skin of my fingers against my red eyes. no relief from any of it.

I need to say a few things. the world is a terrible place, mostly, filled with venom and ugliness, laden with burden after impossible burden, there is never any mercy for any of us really. there are only moments of no struggle, no screaming, moments where we can catch our breath and try to find the reason to go on, try to find the reason to keep swinging even as we realize the futility of fighting.

in a world like that it makes no sense to do deliberate harm to another human being who is really alive, one who burns with the fire, one who truly believes that it is possible to find a way thru the madness and grief. and that is what I've done, in my exchange with Owen. I gave over to the miserable, basest portion of my Sicilian nature, and instead of accepting the opinion of another as something different from mine, yet still valid, and moving on with my life, I chose to be a smarmy, smartassed prick. no matter what theeffects said to me in regards to my letter/post, I responded poorly.

so: first and foremost, I do not think that Owen Roberts is a hack. I do not think him to be in any way shape or form a bad writer. rather, I think his poetry is strong, honest, and very real. and most of all, I raise my glass to any motherfucker with the GUTS to write poetry in such a vapid place as America Version 2006. theeffects has the guts and the will to keep standing up again each time the poem calls, and he does it as well as anyone, and better than most.

it is wrong of me to provoke someone, which is exactly what I did. I knew I was pushing buttons, and then when I got the response I sought, I acted even more snarky. I misunderstood theeffects "threat" of "kicking my ass," and reacted as I would had a real threat been made against me, as I'm sure anyone would in a similar circumstance. so there is no need for any "law" nor any "ass kicking." instead, I propose that I be LESS INCLINED TO FREAK OUT IN THE FUTURE in all situations. hopefully a deep breath, a cup of coffee and a smoke (h/t to Kat), and a more calm rational assesment of the actual nature of the problem at hand will yield more productive results for this high-strung poet.

okay. I've been "long winded" again (sorry, Owen) but felt this needed to be said. I was wrong for my part in this, I overreacted, and I never wanted to disparage ANYONE who faces the misery and pain of this savage life with the aplomb necessary to turn it into poetry. and that is what we are about here, all of us.

and on a personal note to theeffects: "what? are you kidding? we got ourselves a family here..." and I hope this little corner of the small press can continue its bold assault on the ranks of REAL HACKS and ACADEMIC FRAUDS and those too afraid to live, too afraid to burn.

thanks for reading.

**cross posted at Upright Against the Savage Heavens**

explanation...

I would like to take a moment to apologize to readers of j.b's blog. some of you may have read the exchange between theeffects and myself. it turned ugly. so I deleted the posts and the ugly childish comments being bandied about.

this place is about poetry and communication. I apologize for posting the bitchy letter that started the whole thing.

that's it. talk amongst yourselves, folks.

mediation

i am writing this via email from my cellphone. i am standing in my new house, waiting for the movers to arrive. i checked this blog and have read through the comments. i feel impelled to take a few minutes out of my already busy day to respond to what is being bandied about by the two verbal pugilists who've taken to sparring on here recently.

i am friends with both Christopher Cunnungham and the man who calls himself "theeffects". i've known both for a number of years, correspond with both frequently and regularly, and consider both great poets and friends.

i know both to be steadfastly stubborn in their beliefs and philosophies (as they should be), with no qualms about voicing their opinion.

i also feel both are honest and possess much integrity. therefore, it is difficult for me to read all the snarky comments, vicious insults and unnecessary "calling outs" being vollied across the bow of the ship i call "this poet's life".

i am not attempting to make peace between you two -- CC & theeffects -- but it would seem superficial and counterproductive (in this already superficial and counterproductive world) to argue and backbite when there is already so much of that going on in this small press.

i am also NOT here to take sides, but if someone -- especially someone with the integrity and honesty of CC or Luis -- tells me they do something in a way completely opposite the way i do it (no matter how unbelievable TO ME it seems) i must take them for their word.

i have no fucking how anybody else in this world writes. all i know is how i do it. and for all i know, i could be writing in a way that is totally unbelievable -- and most editors would agree TOTALLY WRONG -- to most people.

all that matters is that you do it. that we do it your way, or in a way that works for you; allowing you to scribble the truth in the margins of our otherwise banal, painful lives.

that is all.
both men touch gloves and go back to your corners.

::DING::
ROUND TWO!
--j

we interrupt our regularly scheduled flame war...

...with the announcement that everything went smoothly today (shockingly) and we will be moving into our new house tomorrow morning. the cable company won't be coming by until Friday (sometime between 6 a.m. and 9 p.m.) to hook up our t.v. and -- most importantly -- our internet, so i will be without internet access until at least Friday.

this means that i will be unable to answer any of your emails (assuming any of you want to send me one), and unable to post on here. also, if i haven't sent you my new mail address -- and you really want it -- let me know and i'll get it to you. i think i got everyone, but i'm running on fumes right now.

lastly, if any of you want to create posts on here, feel free. Cunningham, i am putting the place in your hands. i trust you will do right by it. :)

we return to FLAME WARS, starring CC and theeffects....

and so continues the saga

we received a call from the mortgage company saying the would need to bump the closing to later in the day, today. so, we bumped it to 5:30. shortly after the first call, we got another that said we needed to move it to tomorrow.
apparently, they (the title company) didn't get a certain piece of paperwork (the addendum for the garage door opener) until earlier today and it takes--allegedly--a full fucking day to get it added to the paper.
what the fuck is wrong with this world? where are the people who care? where are the hard workers who give a fuck?
the wife and i juggled our already tight schedules so that we could close today. we don't have much vacation time or PTO saved and can't afford to take days off. it appears we have to because we are closing tomorrow at 11 a.m.
or, at least, this is the new date and time until something else comes along.

also, tomorrow at 9 a.m. i will be having our final walkthrough of the house. everything is done. i will be filling out the punch list to have errors fixed. there will always be errors on new homes, mostly minor ones, and the punch list will capture those so that the builder knows what needs to be fixed within 30 days to get it to the condition we agreed upon in the contract.

i have 2 hours to do a complete and thorough walkthrough and punchlist fill-out, then head over to close, then to work for half a day (or more).

jesus, those fuckers at the title company really fucked us over. half a day of work time lost, more aggravation, and to top it off, the fucking smarmy, little, dipshit mortgage officer we are dealing with had the NERVE to be curt and borderline angry with my wife when she voiced her anger at their delay. oh, that midget cocksucker ain't seen nothing yet. i can't wait to see him tomorrow. he'll have his hands full with me and Julee. oh, he'll most definitely have his hands full.

the end of a saga

today, at 4 p.m., we will be closing on our new house. this is a saga 13 months in the making; and the end of it seems surreal. or too real. it feels something queer, that's for sure. we are bracing for more bullshit, but desperately hoping for the best.

we move all our shit on Thursday, and i get the pleasure of seeing all of the crap we had in storage for over a year, again.
o, what wonders i'll find!
the two things i care about getting back most are my typewriter and mounds of books. jesus, i miss that stuff.

things will be hairy in the next few days. i'll do my best to update if anything comes up. if not, check out Upright Against The Savage Heavens on Sunday (or anytime, for that matter) for the next installment of Background Noise.

slipping in unnoticed for a quick word...

and then slipping out the back door before the homeowner returns, I just wanted to let j.b's readers know that Hosho McCreesh has posted his first column over at UPRIGHT.

check it out, it'll blow you away.

**vanishes into the night**

rejected

i just received a rejection from Rattle. second attempt, 5 years apart, same result. at least i'm consistent.

on the bright side, i now have 5 poems available for rejection someplace else.

mail time

in the mail, recently, i received the newest issue of remark. (issue #46). it features great poetry by Christopher Cunningham, Michael Estabrook, William Taylor, Jr., Brian McGettrick, Karl Koweski, and David J. Thompson.

also, i received issue #36 of the French-language, Belgian journal Microbe featuring the authors of Bottle of Smoke Press. i have three poems featured, both in English and translated into French by the editor, Eric Dejaeger. Other poets featured are C. Allen Rearick, Henry Denander, Nathan Graziano, Glenn W. Cooper, Owen Roberts, David Barker, Matt Smith, A.D. Winans, Adrian Manning, and Robert L. Penick.

the fallacy of vocabulary condescension

i attended a small, in-house training course on learning how to proofread, today. the instructor was not all that good, as seminar-ing goes, but he said something that made me think. he used an aphorsim i'd never heard: "Easy to read is easy to proofread." this is probably true.

but, he then said that "easy to read" meant using "familiar, easy-to-understand words" and avoiding "elegant variation" in our word choices. he claimed that using such unfamiliar and elegant words sounds pedantic (actually, he said arrogant, but i'm certain he meant pedantic and didn't want to sound exactly that, so used the "easier-to-understand" arrogant) and amounts to a form of condescension (he actually used "talking down to" because "condescension" is merely an "elegant variation").

i take exception to this. i'm one of the people who uses high-falutin' words in everyday speech (like high-falutin' and -- apparently -- condescension). and i don't think it's condescending at all to use them. here's why:

1) if you were dumbing down or talking down to a person you wouldn't use big words, would you? so, why is it talking down to when you do? is it maybe because you don't know the big words and you feel as if you are being talked down to. that's not my fault, Skippy. read a book. expand your vocabulary.

2) there's a reason these words exist in the first place. if pedantic were perfectly synonymous with arrogant, then there would be NO need for pedantic. but, yet, there is a need, because it isn't perfectly synonymous. just because the word is polysyllabic (long) or unfamiliar doesn't mean it shouldn't be used for concision's sake. the words exist, so use them.

3) i put a certain amount of expectation and respect in the people i'm talking to. i respect them enough to NOT talk down to them by using trite, plain language. i would hate if someone wanted to use the word pedantic, but didn't think me savvy enough to figure it out, so instead censored themselves and chose arrogant. likewise, i expect the people i talk to to have a certain level of intelligence and vocabulary. if not, sorry, but why should i dumb myself down so that someone else doesn't feel insulted by such high-falutin' language?


now, there are definitely some cases where dumbing down is necessary, or preferable. when in business, assume the person you are dealing with is a moron. you'll be right nine times out of ten. when dealing with a salesman, that percentage goes up to 99 times out of 100. but, when dealing with writers, we should be able to speak freely, using the correct (possibly larger) word when necessary. same goes for professionals. doctors, psychiatrists, lawyers (just kidding, lawyers are in the salesmen category!).

and there are times when certain pedantic people DO use unnecessarily "elegant" words in their speech. but, you'll find that most of the times the words they choose are used incorrectly merely to make themselves sound smart. THAT'S the definition of pedantic. NOT someone who uses big words correctly because their more familiar counterparts just aren't descriptive enough.

that's the end of my rant. words are important. there's a reason we have created so many of them. it's a shame to NOT use some because someone else doesn't know them. if that's being condescending, then i'm sorry.

update on the house

it's been awhile since my last update.

it appears we will be closing with the mortgage company this coming Tuesday. usually, people close AFTER their final walk-through and inspection, but we will be having that next Thursday. we are closing early -- a big risk, to be sure -- on purpose because otherwise it will be strung out indefinitely by the builder. we NEED to move in. we've got address forwarding already set up with the Post Office and a date and time (next Thursday) set for the movers.

anyway, that's where we stand.
once we move in, get everything situated, and i hook up my scanner, i'll post a series of photos detailing this long, strange trip.

both right and wrong

i agree with this, but with one minor change:
don't just copy what you like. improve upon it. make it your own. make it something new.

don't just read the myths of those who came before us; rewrite them altogether.

a declaration

have you ever actually read the Declaration of Independence? or, at least, have you read it since you were forced to (and most likely forced to memorize certain key passages) back in 8th grade?

if not, here it is. give it a gander. pretty powerful stuff. so is the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Jefferson was one helluva wordsmith.

and speaking about wordsmith presidents, check out some writings of Abraham Lincoln.

a clear sign the end of the world is nigh

if this doesn't make you squeemish or sick to your stomach, then there's no hope for you.

that being said, i can't wait to purchase one. i'm gonna name him Gene. i'm so excited.

happy 4th

have a happy and safe 4th of July, all you American friends of this poet's life. for those non-Americans among us, you're welcome to celebrate the independence of America, too, but i doubt you'd want to. most of us here aren't really up for celebrating it ourselves, what with all the bullshit that's been going on: a moron for a president hellbent on eradicating the constitution, a war being waged under false pretenses and for no good reason, children starving to death every day in the wealthiest country in the world, a significant portion of the population WITHOUT access to basic health care. what is there to celebrate?

all we care about is watching fireworks bloom in the night sky. fireworks never let us down.

new post

i've uploaded, a day late, the newest installment of my column, Background Noise, on Christopher Cunningham's blog Upright Against The Savage Heavens. this week i discuss the importance of poets honing their craft so as to create the best work possible. i even quote the late, great William Carlos Williams to bolster my argument.

weirdest thing

and just like that, the computer works again.
hell if i know what's going on. but, i'm happy it's up and running.

and to celebrate, let's check out a compendium of lost words. i could go through these words for ages. i'm facinated by rare and "lost" words. some are so mellifluous and beautiful it's a wonder how they ever disappeared. others are nearly impossible to say it's surprising they were ever used.
hope you enjoy it as much as i.

computer problems

well, it appears the old computer finally crapped out on me. actually, it's running fine, but there seems to be an issue with it communicating with the modem. i called my ISP because i was unable to access the internet or obtain the emails on their servers. the technician said she could "ping" my modem and everything looked fine, that it was getting a signal, but my computer wasn't receiving anything. i'm still not sure if it's a modem or computer issue.

our computer is old, though, so we are going to look into getting another and i'll probably end up using this old one for writing on.

what this means, however, is that i will be unable to answer any of your emails, will only be able to access the internet from work (and in small batches of time, like right now) and will not be able to upload my Background Noise posts for Upright Against The Savage Heavens until Monday mornings. i hope to get a new computer soon and i hope even more that this is what the problem is. with this and the upcoming move, i'll probably be a bit scarce. even email-wise.

if i owe you an email, please understand my dilemma and know that i will get to it when i can.

the letter

i've edited out the sensitive parts of the letter i sent Holmes Homes and the community we are moving into (called Daybreak) back in December of 2005. you will find it posted, in its entirety, below.

but, first, some backstory and a few tidbits for clarity's purposes. Daybreak is the name of the planned community we are moving into. the land is owned by a company called Kennecott, who operates the largest open-pit copper mine in the world. anyway, the copper in the mine is not infinite and will eventually run out. Kennecott bought up land around the Oquirrh mountains (which form the western range surrounding the Salt Lake Valley, and where the copper mine sits) years ago for future use. they decided a planned community would be best. this planned community is our Daybreak. check out the Daybreak website if you're interested in more of what it's all about.

other points of clarification:

1) in the letter, i mention a place called Dugway. the Dugway Proving Grounds are to the west of the Salt Lake Valley, beyond the Oquirrh mountains and smack dab in the middle of nowhere, save desert and tumbleweed. it is where the military tests, stores and destroys chemical and biological weapons (including the ultra-deadly, and all-around nasty, VX nerve gas). there is NOTHING appealing or enjoyable about this place AT ALL.

2) Daybreak's slogan is This is getting good. i use a play on this slogan throughout my letter, so when you read this you'll understand what's going on.

that's about it. as i said, i sent this letter to both Holmes Homes and Daybreak. i never heard from Daybreak regarding it (no surprise), but i did hear from Holmes Homes. it little good as things just kept being delayed and fuck-ups kept occurring.

lastly, i will add some links within the letter that might help explain some terms that are obscure or not in common use. realize, obviously, that these links weren't present in the letter as it was a traditionally mailed letter and links don't work on paper. haw! :)

okay, so here's the letter:


Dear Holmes Homes:

My wife and I signed a contract with our real estate agent on June 28, 2005 to purchase a Sawgrass house, Elevation "B", through Holmes Homes. We were very excited to be buying a house at Daybreak, and with Holmes Homes, after having seen the model homes, the future plans for the Daybreak community and all the included amenities. So excited, in fact, that we never felt the typical buyer's remorse after signing the contract and writing a check for our earnest money. Nor did we feel this remorse after choosing our upgrades and options, and writing another check for the flooring deposit. We were excited because we were getting in on a great house, in a great neighborhood; early enough that it was affordable, but late enough to know that things were going to be great. After all, the Daybreak billboards and advertisements around town said it all: This Is Getting Good. In my opinion they were downplaying it. This Is Getting Great.

At the time we signed the contract, we were told ground was slated to be broken on our property sometime around the end of September. Add six months for construction time, and this put the completion date for our house around the end of March, give or take. With not wanting to sell our current house during the winter months, we made preparations to sell it as soon as possible; moving into a one-bedroom apartment in the meantime. We sold our house the last week of August, giving us (by the calculations we were told) around seven months to live in the tiny, one-bedroom apartment.

("Why such a small apartment?" you might be asking. Good question. Well, since we were going to be living in the apartment for less than a year, it was imperative that we find a place that allowed us to break the customary one-year lease. Very few places in the Salt Lake Valley offer this. And those that do require extra money on the rent. Therefore, we could only afford a one-bedroom. Plus, all of our furniture and most of our belongings are packed in storage units until we move into our new house, so unless we got a huge three-bedroom apartment, which we definitely couldn't afford, this was the best we could do.

Well, seven months in a tiny place without most of your belonging is nothing when the end result is moving into a great, new place. September came and went. We visited Daybreak on a weekly basis; driving out there to see the progress (or lack thereof) of our lot. October blew in. No work. No word from Holmes Homes. We called our agent and she said things were are a bit behind, but to be patient. It should happen any day now. Each week construction is delayed is another week we have to suffer in this breadbox of a home. Fine. The end justifies the means. After all, This Is Getting Good. Yeah, good is about right.

October blustered into November. I'll give you one guess on the status of our house? Wrong! It was NOT yet started. I know. I know. "How can this happen?" you say. I don't have the slightest idea. We called our agent again and heard some bogus explanation of a shortage of lumber and concrete due to hurricanes. Well, maybe it's not bogus, but that's a bad excuse since it doesn't really explain the delay up to the hurricanes. Okay, fine. So there was a lumber and concrete shortage. Fine. We can't really complain about that, now, can we? Nope. We'd be selfish, heartless people. So, we remain concrete in our resolve and lumber on.

And, we waited. We kept visiting Daybreak, waiting for the lake to be filled (which, incidentally, we were told was to happen the last week of August and had yet to be done by the end of October. My guess is a shortage of water due to hurricanes. Or drought. Or something. Right?). We kept visiting with the small hope that we'd find something on our lot. So far, out of the 12 or so visits we made out there we found three new pebbles; a small, feeble thistle growing out of a mound of dirt; and, something I am really excited about, a white splotch from seagull droppings. This Is Getting Annoying.
The end-of-November festivities roll around and the wife and I take a trip to Florida to visit family. We wanted to have pictures of the construction of our new house to show them; but, instead, we settled for a picture of our seagull dropping splotch and a stylized drawing I did with crayons and construction paper. We stayed for two weeks, hoping that something exciting would happen while we were there. On the flight back we passed over Daybreak. We saw the lake had been filled (finally) and traced the roads to our lot. No dice. Nothing had changed. I swore I saw a new pebble, but I knew it was impossible to see that kind of detail from the window of a 737 at that height. The houses around ours were going up, now, though. Yet, still nothing on our lot. Who knows why ours is being delayed? Who knows? Do you?

Then, just when all hope has been dashed, we get an email from our agent letting us know that we have been assigned a liaison between construction and homeowners so that we can get better, more timely, information. Great. This Is Getting Better? We'll see.

We call this liaison and he tells us that our house is slated to break ground within 45 days. A quick mental calculation tells me that 45 days is a month an a half. It was early December when we called him, so a month and a half puts it at the end of January. And this is assuming he was telling us the truth instead of blowing smoke. We'll take his word for it. The end of January. Fine. Add six months, and it looks like our house will be done around the end of July, give or take. Ridiculous…I mean: This Is Getting Ridiculous.

This liaison also mentioned that Holmes Homes had made many unrealistic promises regarding construction dates. He also mentioned Daybreak making unrealistic promises regarding permits and other things. Fine. I understand his need to pacify the angry people he has been given. He's pointing fingers at Daybreak and himself (Holmes Homes) but it still doesn't explain how people in a situation like us are supposed to feel. We sold our house quickly, and early, based on erroneous information we were given. We moved into a tiny apartment (too small for a Christmas Tree, even. No lie.), because it was all we could afford with the steep lease-breaking and storage fees. Now, if construction is delayed any further beyond January, we will be paying this lease-breaking fee for NOTHING. How's that for things getting good? Or, we could've sold the house in the spring and had ourselves a nice, little, winter-holiday season, instead of the cramped, angry one awaiting us. This Is Getting Old.

"But," you say, "you signed a contract, Mr. Barrett. And, you are bound by this contract. Plus, if we fail to honor said contract by not building the house within a year you can get out of your contract without any loss of your money."

Well said. Yes, this is true. We DID sign a contract. The contract isn't what concerns me (more on this later, because new information has since come to light where we were given very bad information regarding our house. But, like I said, more later). We still want the house. What concerns me is that you, Holmes Homes, are also bound by this contract. You are bound by what you, and your representatives, tell your customers. We acted upon bad information, told to us by your agents. We were given a construction date off by 4 months (and this is assuming the end of January is right. That still remains to be seen.). Plus, even if we were to get out of our contract without "losing" any of our money, where does that leave us? In a tiny apartment with our belongings in storage, no house to move into, starting over on the house-buying process. Sounds great. You've got us by the short-hairs and you know it. So what if YOU break the contract. We have nearly $5,000 invested in this house that we CAN get back, but you've already made how much on the interest of that money? And, will we see any of that interest? Nope. Raw deal for us, then. Oh, but if we were to break this contract. If we were to have given you bad information month after month. Oooh, I would've loved to see what would've happened. Actually, I take that back. No, I wouldn't. I'm quite certain you guys are litigious and would've sued me for everything I own, and half of everything I don't. This Is Getting Me Very Angry.

We interrupt this letter to bring you a small moment in the life of Mr. and Mrs. Barrett, living in a thumbnail of an apartment and under contract with Holmes Homes for a house in Daybreak:

Julee: "Do you want to drive out to Daybreak today to see if there's anything new going on with our house?"

Justin: "Why? You know they haven't done anything."

Julee: "Come on. We might be surprised."

Justin: "You heard what the guy said. 45 days. We've got another month until anything is scheduled to begin. And that's IF the guy was telling us the truth."

Julee: "Is there anything we can do? This Is Getting Ridiculous."

Justin: "No. There's nothing we can do. We can forfeit the $5,000 we have put down for earnest money and deposits or we can just wait it out, hoping that someone will eventually take notice of what the hell is going on here and start do something about it. By the way, I already used the ridiculous thing earlier in the letter."

Julee: "Okay, fine. But, what about the extra money we're paying for rent so we can get out of the lease early?"

Justin: "Lost money, I'm afraid. Trust me, Holmes Homes doesn't care. Daybreak doesn't care. Hell, the reason all this is being delayed is because they are selling TOO MANY houses. Which means they are making TOO MUCH money. You think they care about us and our concerns?"

Julee: "But, don't they have to finish the house within a year of the contract date?"

Justin: "Ah. That's the tricky part. They get 365 days from the date of execution of the Earnest Money Agreement PLUS 60 days for them to finish…"

Julee: "Oh. Well, that's 14 months. Okay. 14 months, then. Still, we can rescind the contract after 14 months."

Justin: "But, here's the kicker. After that 60 days we may elect to cancel the contract and receive any consideration paid, meaning our earnest money and flooring deposits, LESS the cost of any special additions or modifications made at the request of the buyer."

Julee: "What does that mean?"

Justin: "Well, it means we can cancel the contract, get our money back (interest-free, of course), and start all over looking for a new house so that we can move out of this matchbox of an apartment. Then, we have to hope to high hell that they don't claim that we requested any special additions or modifications."

Julee: "But we haven't."

Justin: "Yes, I know. But we did request that they honor their word and actually build our house. I suppose that could be seen as a special request."
Julee: "That's absurd."

Justin: "I know. But, This Is Getting Absurd."

Julee: "Good one."
Justin: "Thanks, honey."

We now return to our regularly scheduled letter:

Before we were rudely interrupted, I was talking about how we received a notice that we now have a construction liaison. I also mentioned that we had received some recent news regarding our house that had angered us quite a bit.

Last week (December 13, 2005) we received an email from our real estate agent that included an attached letter letting us know of some corrections to information she gave us when we signed our contract. The corrections were more than just corrections, though. They were very major changes to what we were told we will be receiving regarding land/fence and landscaping. And, since our decision to purchase this house and the corner lot that came with it was contingent upon the information she supplied, this is a serious matter to us. It is a serious breach of contract, in our minds. But, again, you have us by the short-hairs, so a breach in contract is little matter to you, isn't it? You have our money and our signatures. You control everything regarding the building and sale of our house. "Move along, little peon, there's nothing to see here. We have you by the short-hairs, little man, and you'll do as I say. And, you'll like it! Or, at least you'll feign liking it!"

Anyway, this letter listed two major changes to what we thought we were getting. First, we will now be required to maintain the side and front parts of our lot. When we signed the contract to purchase this house we were told that our HOA fees (that will eventually be $70/month) would go towards maintaining our front and side lots. "What a fabulous thing," we thought. "It's almost too good to be true," we thought. Turns out it was. So, our $70 a month now goes towards what? The maintenance of the common areas? Towards the privilege of having Daybreak tell us what we can or cannot do via the CC&Rs? (It's a great thing, isn't it, to have the people in your development PAY you to tell them what to do. That's a brand of totalitarianism that Mussolini himself would find ironically sublime.) Fine. Whatever. We will take care of our front and side yards. Big deal. I don't like that I was lied to, but big deal.

But, this is the kicker. This is the one that really got our goat: we now find out that the 12+ extra feet of our corner lot, for which we paid $1,000 will no longer be fenced in. This was a major selling point for us, and the ONLY reason we sprang for the corner lot. So, now we've wasted another $1,000. It's almost a dream come true, wasting money like we were wealthy. Feels good.

But. But. Not to be outdone; we are also still responsible for the upkeep of this unfenced area. So, we buy this land, own this land, but cannot USE this land. However, we are still responsible for the upkeep of it. This land was purchased by us for an additional $1,000, yet will be utterly useless to us. It is being given over (for all intents and purposes) to Daybreak for easement and curb appeal, AND we will now have to lug our lawnmowers outside of our fences and around the corner to mow this unused, expensively-wasted strip of land. Magnificent. This Is Getting Out Of Hand.

Can we sign up for more of this kind of thing. Can we PLEASE pay you MORE money to have MORE land that we CAN'T have fenced in and will be UNABLE to use. That would be great. Is it at all possible for us to get screwed over in more ways? I don't know. Maybe.

Maybe a letter like this will be arriving sometime soon:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Barrett,

We regret to inform you that the lot you purchased through Holmes Homes in the Daybreak community has been moved to the other side of the Oqquirh Mountains in a little town called Daybreak @ Dugway™. But, do not despair. Daybreak @ Dugway™ is a beautiful little outpost with views of bunkers and chemical weapons incinerators.

You'll be happy to know that Daybreak @ Dugway™ possesses its own supply of VX nerve gas, which will come in handy in case of an emergency.

(Disclaimer: We are not responsible should these storehouses of nerve gas or chemical weapons leak and poison you.)

We are very excited about the new Daybreak @ Dugway™ development and are confident you will feel just as at home there as you would at the original Daybreak in South Jordan.

Lastly, we want to inform you of the great new desert lake we have planned for Daybreak @ Dugway™. It will, of course, not be a real lake, but, instead, a lake of desert sand that will be available for use to all Daybreak @ Dugway™ residents (for a small service fee, of course).

Daybreak @ Dugway™. This Is Getting Weird.®

Yours very truly,

Holmes Homes and Daybreak

I am very angry about these recent developments. Would I be as angry about them if we hadn't been screwed around with earlier? Probably, yes. The delay of the building of our house was acceptable because, as I said earlier, the end justified the means. Now, you guys are messing with our end, and it's beginning to get a lot harder for us to justify the means with it.

The worst of it, though, is this upfront promising of what we would get that later turns out to be misinformation or outright lies. Why on earth would we have purchased a corner lot (which we purchased, incidentally, so that our dog would have some room to move around) if we knew we wouldn't get that extra space, yet would still be responsible for the land we would be unable to enjoy? Why would anybody purchase a corner lot under those provisions? But, I suppose that's the point to the deception, isn't it? No one would really want to pay an extra $1,000 for a corner lot they couldn't, in reality, use.

"But," I can anticipate you saying, "You'll have the advantage of not having a house on both sides of your property." Good point. Yes, this is an advantage, but is it really worth $1,000? Is it really worth being given extra land that you own, but not really? Is it? I don't need to answer that because you already know my thoughts on this. This Is Getting Where It's Almost Not Worth It.

We know that we are going to be getting a great house. One we're really excited to be moving into, whenever that might actually occur. We know that the equity we will have in the house upon moving in will be insane, and even better than expected. We know that Daybreak will be an amazing community in which to grow old. We know all this. But, even all these great things can't erase the bad taste in our mouths from all the deception and delays and lies. And every single day that we lug our lawnmowers to our side yard, every single day we drive by the little sliver of easement we donated to Daybreak, will just remind us of it.

But, what recourse do we have? As I said before, we can either get screwed out of our $5,000 in deposits and earnest monies AND start all over to find a new house, or we can wait until Holmes Homes can't meet the 365 + 60 day requirement of the contract (which I'm pretty certain will happen), get our monies back (sans interest) THEN start all over. Either way, we're really losing in this proposition. Neither is an attractive alternative.

So, what do we do? A lot of it depends on you. Both Daybreak and Holmes Homes. It depends on what kind of answer I received from this letter (if any). It depends on what other spitballs you send our way. It depends on what other surprises you have in store for us as things move along. As it stands, we've had enough of the surprises. We just want to have our house started. We just want to move in. We just want it to where it's This Is Getting Good, again!

Sincerely,
Justin Barrett