my-graines

it took years before i realized that not everyone had a headache every day. suffering through one was so commonplace for me, that i assumed everyone was the same.

in fact, i cannot remember a time when i didn't suffer with a headache. it wasn't every single day, but it was easily 6 days a week. there would be months where i had a headache every day.

as a small child, they were so bad they would cause me to vomit. turns out now i was suffering from migraines (which often cause kids to vomit), but at the time it was assumed my severe allergies were causing me to swallow copious amounts of mucus, which created the vomiting. that might've had a play in it, but migraines were certainly at play as well.

i don't have headaches every day, now. thankfully. i've gotten my allergies mostly under control through a combination of immunotherapy (shots) and pharmaceuticals (Zyrtec is a godsend). this has curtailed the daily sinus headahce (or mostly). but, the migraines still persist.

it wasn't until recently, though, that i was diagnosed with migraines. i was always told my headaches were due to sinusitis, allergies, etc.
but, about a year ago i began to see these really weird flashing, colored lights in my field of vision, in only my right eye. i thought i was having a stroke. the lights grew until my nearly my entire field of vision was covered with scintillating color. like blinking rainbows. very strange.

i went to our doctor, and she told me that these are called >migraine auras (mine look almost exactly like this), they are fairly rare, and that migraines typically evolve over time which accounts for the new symptoms. she also suffers from migraines, so she has some experience.

anyway, i got them about once a week. no headaches followed (which turns out to be a real phenomenon, though rare). they have since gone away, but the headaches have returned. the typically light sensitivity, throbbing pain (like your brain playing drums with itself against the inside of your skull), etc. i get them about once a month, or so.

had a few this christmas break. not sure why.

unfortunately, the only cure is sleep.

i haven't had an aura in 6 months or so. i kinda miss them. they were pretty. a little disconcerting, but pretty.

if any of you suffer from migraines, tell me your symptoms. there are so many, and everyone's are different. auditory sensitivity? tunnel vision? field of vision disturbances?

if not, count yourselves lucky. they suck.

have a happy and safe new year's eve and day, folks!

poetry update

i received the newest issues of Nerve Cowboy and nibble, where some of my poetry is featured. i have one poem, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, in Nerve Cowboy #26, and two poems, outside our front window and Coda, in nibble #4. also in nibble is a review by Jeff Fleming of my new chapbook, [untitled], published by Propaganda Press.

i also received word that a poem, What does that say about me?, has been accepted for the March issue of Beatnik Cowboy out of Thailand. i'll update with more info as it becomes available.

i hope everyone who celebrates it had a wonderful Christmas. here's to 2009 being great year for all.

look here soon for a review of a chapbook i've recently received, and other stuff.

more things i can do without

people who think they aren't racist despite laughing at racist jokes,

or using racist epithets.

people who think bowling is a sport. chess, poker, darts,

billiards or NASCAR, too.

corruption.

people who insist on coming into work sick, thereby infecting

everyone else with their nastiness.

those who lack basic consideration for another's feelings.

cockroaches.

snowy commutes.

type A personality dickheads.

devil's advocates who think they're debating when they're

merely baiting.

company holiday parties.

things i can do without (cont'd)

people incapable of empathy or compassion,
     or too blinded by ideology to attempt either
people who put no value in scientific findings

olympic sports that include the words synchronized,

     equestrian, or rhythmic.

commercials that "gospel" or "hip hop" up the jingle

     because black people are featured in it

people who are proud of being ignorant

arrogant, overpaid, overwhelmingly inept CEOs

hockey

racists

nepotism and cronyism

people who've worked at a company for years, have sent

     hundreds of faxes, even, and still fuck it up each

     and every time they touch the damn machine

fascism

Nowhere, Utah

my latest chapbook from Propaganda Press, titled Nowhere, Utah, is now available for $3 (plus $1 for shipping; $2 overseas). you can order online above, or send a check or money order to the address posted on their website.

Nowhere, Utah is a mini-chapbook. #5 in their Pocket Protector Series. it's only "mini" by size, not in quality. and there are 64 pages. not a bad price for that much poetry.

my other chapbook, [untitled], by Propaganda Press is also still available if you haven't ordered it, yet. 60 pages. $7.

support the small press and your favorite local poet!

updates

i received in the mail today a copy of Cunningham's newest offering, a chapbook from Propaganda Press, titled A Sound to Drive Away the Coming Darkness. it's a fabulous book serving up a heaping serving of what we've come to expect from Cunningham: straight-up wordsmithing. wonderful poems in a beautiful, little chapbook. great cover photo by Cunningham's better half.

also, my broadside, Marriage, As Still Life, is available from 10pt Press. it's going for $5 and is so gorgeous it'll make you weep. [disclaimer: weeping isn't guaranteed.] below is the announcement poster Sean at 10pt Press whipped up:

this thing is truly suitable for framing. it's an art object and will look phenomenal on your wall. Sean is a master designer and makes the poem sing! for $5, it's a steal. they're going fast, so jump on this while they're still available!

issue 1

this is the most awesome thing ever.

a 3,785-page PDF poetry collection, featuring old and contemporary poets. some familiar names in this thing. some unfamiliar (which is to be expected considering it contains poems by so many poets). oh, what's so great? not a single featured poet wrote the poem that their credited for.

so, who wrote all these poems? a computer, apparently.

it's a farce.

and it's glorious.

the poetry sucks, but the comments from some of the writers at the end of the announcement page are worth their weight in gold. you just got punked, sucka!

things i can do without

bloviating, belligerent TV personalities
pedants
ass-kissing coworkers
bosses who accept and reward ass kissing
creationism
the BCS in college football
movies with talking dogs
people who spell their kids names in weird or phonetic ways
fat guys who wear tight shorts
fundamentalists (of any kind)
TV shows, movies or books about vampires
young earthers
women who wear makeup like it's armor
people who say supposably or irregardless or mind bottling
        or nucular or terrist or cellyer phone.

why living away from home sucks during the holidays

and it's not for the typical reasons. sure, i miss my family. i miss seeing my nephews and how they've grown.

but, the real reason it sucks to be so far away from family during the holidays is you're typically the only one who doesn't take time off for travel, or because you have family in town.

hear me out.

if your job is anything like mine (and hopefully it isn't, for your sake) your bosses have no idea what they are doing, really, and mask that lack of knowledge by creating a culture of everything-has-to-be-done-now. just about every manager at my company is a Chicken Little -- only with their head cut off -- running around freaked out that this or that isn't done. so, weekends and late nights are typical. not for me, mind you, as i make it abundantly clear that i have a life outside of work. i leave the late nights and weekends for those who don't (and there are plenty).

i do work weekends and stay late when absolutely, positively necessary; which is rare. in fact, i am typically the first one in in the morning not merely to beat the traffic (which is one reason) but so i can leave early and not get "caught up" in the swirling morass of inanity that typically leads one to working late.

what does this have to do with holidays and being away from family? well, every year around this time i end up being one of only a handful (or less) of people who are at work. take Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving) for instance. it was just me and my boss. and there was, of course, something so terribly important that absolutely had to be done ASAP that one of my coworkers was working on that i had to take over because she was off Wednesday. my boss, who has no life, knew that my family wasn't coming in, and that i wasn't going anywhere for the holiday, so, in light of the dire and pressing need of this thing getting done, created a situation where i had to work 11 hours and get out late. not a big deal except: it always happens to me (or those like me who are away from family). oh, and the thing i was working was, of course, not really that hot. it's just that, you know, the managers don't understand prioritizing. whenever anything is needed, it is needed now. despite the fact that what you are working on currently was needed yesterday. ends up you have 10 things you have to spread yourself between and all 10 are late.

anyway, the week between christmas and new years is always the worst. you can take 3 days of vacation and get 11 days off, or something like that. varies depending on the year. almost everyone does it. i won't. never do. i save my time for when it's not 4 degrees outside. but, i end up being the only one at work (with my boss, of course) and i end up having to stay late because what else have i got to do?

anyway. it would be best if the only reason it sucked being away from family during the holidays was because you missed them. sucks that you have to work for a bunch of incompetent assholes without lives who figure, since you're there at work, too, that you haven't a life either.

wrong!

update

i feel like a sinner, begging for your forgiveness:

forgive me, dear reader, for it has been quite some time since i last updated my blog. there are a few new developments to announce:

1) my pocket protector chapbook proof (titled Nowhere, Utah), from Propaganda Press, has been mailed to me, and will soon be available for purchase. i will update soon on price and howto purchase it...which you WILL do, right? yeah, i thought so...

2) my broadside "Marriage, in Still Life" from Ten Point Press will soon be available as well. i have signed all of them and they have arrived safely in Ireland. if you ordered one (thank you!) you can expect to receive it soon. if not, then why the hell not? seriously...the art alone is worth the $5.

i hope to update more often. things got a little hectic recently with the adoption and running around trying to gather things for our dossier...and with work...

soon

broadside update and a little about adoption

i received the 50 broadsides from 10 Point Press today, and i must tell you: they are unbelievable. really. the paper is thick and textured. the art is marvelous. the poem, well...it is my poem after all, so you can only imagine... :)

these broadsides are on sale for $5 each from 10 Point Press and will sell out quickly. they are already halfway there, so reserve your copy today. i'll be sending them back to Ireland very soon.


some of you may already know, others may not, but the wife and i have been trying to get pregnant for just over 9 months now. no dice. i know they say you can't really consider yourself having difficulty if you've been trying for less than a year, but we have extenuating circumstances with Julee's health such that she's on Lovenox shots twice a day (in her belly) and it's getting quite old for her. we've decided we're not going to proceed with artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization or even surrogacy. instead, we've taken a loan out and will be purchasing a baby from Ethiopia sometime next year.
anyway, just thought i'd let you guys know. we've been accepted by the adoption agency, have secured the loan and will be going through the myriad classes and many hours of home study. yea, us.

FURTHER UPDATE: in my haste i forgot to mention that i received my copy of Hosho McCreesh's broadside from 10 Point Press, and it's fucking phenomenal. the poem is typical McCreesh (i.e. beautiful and poignant) and the design is spot on. gorgeous work. i'm looking forward to the others, and to framing them all.

Dear George W. Bush

Dear George W. Bush,

Fuck you!

Sincerely,
justin.barrett

there's crazy, then there's batshit crazy

so, this lunatic thinks that Barack Obama is really not the son of his professed father, Barack Obama, Sr., but the lovechild of Malcolm X.

i gotta tell you, i just don't see. in the photo on the left, above, Malcolm X looks more like Denzel Washington to me.

i should be jaded by now, but i can still be amazed at the stupidity of people sometimes.

essay

i have an essay on Barack Obama featured at Along the Knife's Edge. check it out, join into the debate in the comments, or come back here and let me know what you think. also, keep your eyes on AtKE for future work from yours truly and other writers.

Baracktober

with an amazing month, it appears Barack Obama is poised to win this election by a landslide. come Tuesday night, we'll have ourselves a new President-elect. then, it's just waiting until January!

but, it really is spectacular what a tremendous rise Obama has taken since his keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention 4 years ago in Boston. this was the first time i'd ever heard of the guy, and he delivered a fantastic speech that gave me goosebumps. the speech is classic and contains all the things we've come to expect from an Obama speech: well-written; progressive messages of hope and change and the future; plenty of rhetoric; and an intellectual spirit we've been missing for the last 8 years.
from a relative unknown to President. amazing. with his grassroots efforts, his ubiquitous ground game, with the new voter registrations (i guess you could say he Baracked the Vote...i know, groan!), he put together one of the best presidential campaigns in recent memory. definitely better than the bungled campaign McCain and his staff duct-taped and woodglued together.

we're on the cusp of an historic day. i don't know about you guys, but i plan to take the day off, watch the exit polls trickle in, and wait for the moment they call it (which i predict won't be very long into the evening).

final Electoral College prediction:
Obama -- 378
McCain -- 160

lit update

Ten Point Press has announced the release of five gorgeous broadsides in their inaugural release: Hosho McCreesh's broadside THE BEAUTIFUL FIRE.

check the website for future updates and releases, including one from yours truly to be released in the very near future.

i have two pieces featured in the new online journal, Along the Knife's Edge. another, more serious, piece on Barack Obama will be posted soon. I'll update. Along the Knife's Edge is a new non-fiction journal looking for work in the vein of Harper's or The Onion. Serious or humorous. check them out.

lastly, my next chapbook, a part of the Pocket Protector series for Propaganda Press, will soon be released. i've heard it is compiled and ready to print. it'll sell for $3 and there will be special deals and other goodies associated with it. i'll update when i hear more.

the Nerve is back....and a killer website

just received notice that has been accepted to appear in the next issue of Nerve Cowboy! hot damn....it's been awhile, and it's great to be back. huzzah, suckas!
not sure if i mentioned it earlier, but i don't think i did, but two poems were taken by leah angstman, one each for the next two issues of poeisis.

also, check this shit out. fucking killer website. if you're at work, i'd wait. no boobies or anything like that, but there is profanity. but, then again, i just said fuck three sentences ago, and shit four ago...plus, i just said both in this sentence, so....fuck shit.

fake-breasted barbies + douchebags + obnoxious behavior =

deer widow weekend at Wendover, Nevada.

the wife and i spent the weekend with some good friends in Wendover, NV; and it just so happened to be deer widow weekend there. for those who don't know, deer widow weekend is the weekend of the first day that deer hunting is allowed. all the men go out to murder some animals, and the women drive to Wendover, about and hour and a half from Salt Lake City, to get drunk, act as obnoxious as possible, and to get picked up by douchebag men who don't hunt for deer, but for married women. it's has a long tradition.

anyway, it was deer widow weekend and it was a douchebag convention for sure. jesus, i haven't seen so many Armani Exchange t-shirts or spiked, bleached hair in my life. and more fake breasts this side of Los Angeles.

regardless, we had a good time. the people-watching was top notch. and spending time with good friends is always a treat.
come around Wendover this time next year if you really want to see what i mean. it was a trip.

jealous?

don't be.

it did snow last night, the first snow of the season. this good, i suppose, if you're a skier or other winter outdoor enthusiast.

the bad news is our furnace wasn't clicking on and it's been frigid in the house the last few nights. that night, we had a 6 inch pile of blankets on the bed and it was still chilly. unfortunately, i know nothing about furnaces so we called a guy to come out and look at it.

and

it exploded. no shit. the furnace exploded. nearly killed the guy.

why would a furnace explode, you ask? well, let me tell you (sit back and enjoy this):
our houses here in our beautiful community are literally 7 feet apart from each other. our east wall and our neighbor's west wall form our neighbor's back yard (actually side yard as there is no back yard...and calling it a yard is misleading, it's more of a smallish play area with fences on the north and south end). anyway, this time last year we had a similar problem and it turned out our neighbor's kids (there are 7, so take a pick as to which ones (and the house is only a 3 bedroom but don't ask me how they are situated)) stuffed a big rubber ball down the vent pipe (which is uncovered, and on our east wall) which caused the fumes to back up and the furnace to quit and our carbon monoxide detector to go off (yay!). i told the mother, then, that this was dangerous and to please tell her kids to not do this. PLEASE!!!

guess what?

just guess....i'll give you some time.

well, if you guessed that the same thing happened again, you'll be both wrong and right. the vent pipe was stuffed, but this time with 3 feet of rocks, sticks and pinecones (seriously, you should've seen the amount of crap that jettisoned from the pipe when the furnace guy pulled on it, it was ridiculous)...anyway, it was so stuffed that the fumes built up and the furnace exploded.

we were lucky. the furnace guy was supremely lucky. if he had been any closer he would've had a face full of fireball and maybe worse. he also said this could've exploded the house as it is a gas furnace. i don't know much, but i know an exploding house is general a bad thing.

so, i told the father this time (who is a moron on the highest order, and was out on their white-trash trampoline jumping with his children and acting like an imbecile (okay, he wasn't acting)) and he was like, "oh my" and "oh sheesh" and other non-profane exclamations of surprise...then i heard him tell his kids and they were like, "i didn't do that" and he said "i didn't mean you specifically, but in general just don't stuff things down that pipe"...it appears the mother didn't do anything when i told her last year. maybe she only told 6 of the 7 kids. it's hard with so many kids to make sure you teach them all the right way to act. i mean, with a role model like their mouth breathing father, can you really blame them?

yes, a little.

fucking assholes.

so, $600 dollars later...or, to be more precise, on Wednesday it'll cost us $600. that means 3 more days without heat. fucking awesome!

and, of course, i'm such a non-confrontational pussy that i didn't demand they pay for it. and now i hate myself for not demanding it...double whammy.

anyway, it did snow last night. those pictures are from our bedroom windows. not much, mind you, but it's like 60 degrees in the house right now. i can't feel my fingers, but typing with gloves is impossible.

oh, and before you ask, yes, we are getting a grate put over the pipe, but it will still have holes in it to vent the fumes and i bet you this happens again next year. hopefully, though, no one will die from it. fingers crossed.

UPDATE:
here are some photos of the fated exploded furnace. luckily the cover was already off or it would've been blown across the room. the motor was blown out, though, and a piece of it shattered. also, you i took a photo of the rocks and pinecones and sticks that were stuffed in the PVC pipe venting the furnace. the technician had to cut the pipe to remove the detritus, as you can see:



we won't be able to get it repaired until Thursday, but luckily it's only in the 20s overnight. Jesus! this morning it was 59 degrees when we woke up (that's Fahrenheit for you Europeans, or approximately 15 degrees Celsius). now THAT'S cold!

reviews are in

two reviews of my newest chapbook, [untitled], released by Propaganda Press appeared on the interwebs recently.

first, Jeff Fleming, venerable editor of the new (and fantastic) new short poem journal nibble wrote a great review. thanks for the kind words, good sir.

second,  Poet Hound published a rave review as well. and thank you, too, Paula, for your constant support. look for more reviews of other books at both of these fine outlets.

copies of my book are still available for $8 (shipping to the US included, $3 extra overseas) from Propaganda Press. click on the title of book above!

autumn is here

we took a little car ride up Immigration Canyon on the northeast side of Salt Lake City, the canyon the Mormon settlers traveled down on their way west.
the leaves were in various states of change, the air was crisp and cool after a torrential downpour yesterday, and the drive was beautiful.
here are some picture i took with my cellphone:



i love days like this: the weather perfect after months of summer and before the wickedness of winter, the wife and i enjoying each other's company driving through beautiful mountain canyons.

i hope we have a few more days like this left, but judging from the snow that dusted the peaks last night, i'm afraid we've 3 weeks at the most. just means we'll have to enjoy them as best we can.

our trip to Albion Basin, a poetry update and an Oscar nominated horror clip

last weekend, the wife and i went up to Albion Basin at the top of Little Cottonwood Canyon to have a little picnic and to do some hiking. we were hoping the leaves would be changing, but we were a few weeks too early. and, we were a month too late to see the spectacular wildflower displays Albion Basin is known for.
anyway, here are some photos i took while up there. nothing too spectacular:





i also received word that three of my poems: Adagio for a Scared Little Girl, On Art and War, and Turning in for the Night will be published in the newest issue of Literary Mary to be released soon.

also, my newest chapbook, [untitled] is still available from Propaganda Press for $7 (shipping included within the US, $3 extra outside the US). check it out, won'tcha.


the scariest thing ever? yeah, i think so:

in the mail today

i received the third issue of nibble, in which one of my poems -- interstate accident -- appears. issue three is just as good as the previous two (which is pretty damn good). if you haven't subscribed or submitted to nibble, do so today.

also in the mail today was a copy of Gerald Locklin's newest chapbook, The Plot of Il Travatore and other poems, published by Kamini Press. i was lucky enough to pick up one of the special 25 copies to be signed by Locklin, and to include a special watercolor by Henry Denander tipped in. it's a great book full of the witty and profound poems Locklin is known for. pick up a copy.

and somehow i'm...

supposed to give a shit about these rich bastards who gambled with our economy, lost their ass, and are now unable to afford their affluent, rich bastard life styles. well, boo fucking hoo. welcome to our lives. only, guess what? your gambling made our lives just that much harder.

there are 946 BILLIONAIRES in the world today. 73% (694) of them live in the United States. according to Forbes, this is a 20% increase over last year. this is sick. in a time where simple medical insurance eludes billions around the globe, where unemployment rates and homelessness rates are rising in our country, the ultra/super rich are getting richer and the income gap is widening. these new billionaires aren't members of the middle class suddenly becoming filthy rich, it's millionaires bilking their poorer countrymen and getting even richer; it's our current administration giving them tax breaks and making it easier for their companies to do whatever, wherever and whenever they want. what's a trillion dollars bailout for transgressions amongst friends, eh?

how many millionaires are there? it's too gross to say. but, the number is higher than the entire population of New York City, the very city that houses Wall Street -- where most of these bastards commit their crimes. i suspect there are a quit a few less millionaires now.
well, welcome to penury, you assholes. we've saved you a seat on our 14-year old couch in the living room of our 1200 sq. ft. home.
don't mind the smell, it's merely our futures rotting away.

by the way, where's my fucking bailout? promise it won't cost nearly as much as a $1,000,000,000,000. i wonder how much universal healthcare would cost? or college education for any graduating senior who wants it, or technical school training? a trillion dollars is a lot of money.

approaching autumn

i love this time of year: the days shorten, the evenings and early mornings are cool, coworkers bring to work fruit and vegetables from their gardens for all to enjoy. soon, the air will have a crispness to it, a clean smell left over after summer's sear. soon, sweaters and long sleeve shirts will be needed. soon, winter will be here.

for some reason, too, i tend to write more during autumn and spring. not sure if it's the lack of sunlight, the temperate weather, the sadness inherent in winter's arrival, or the brightness in summer's. perhaps it's the fact that spring and autumn are inflection points between summer and winter. whatever it is, i'm thankful to live in a place where there are four distinct seasons. having lived in Florida for 10 years, i can appreciate the quickening of spring and the frailty of autumn.

but autumn is my favorite: with the changing leaves, the harvests, the welcome coolness in the evenings, and football. what is there not to love about it? even daylight saving time ends and we get to adjust our clocks back an hour, thus gaining an extra hour of sleep (or, if you're really industrious, an extra hour to do whatever else you want to do).

in fact, we're going to enjoy this time of year with a little excursion up Little Cottonwood Canyon to Albion Basin to hike, picnic and take in the breathtaking scenery with friends. i'll take some pictures (hopefully, the spectacular Albion Basin wildflowers are still out) and if they're any good i'll post them here.

books

three books arriving by mail in two days. does it get any better?

yesterday, i receive a copy of In Gambler's Blood by christopher cunningham, a spectacular series of poems playing out a single hand of poker from start to finish. amazing. visit Kendra Steiner Editions for more information. $4.

today, i received a copy of For All These Wretched, Beautiful, & Insightful Things So Uselessly & Carelessly Destroyed... by Hosho McCreesh. this is Hosho's 7th book/chapbook and it's as great as all the others. 20 poems by the master. check out sunnyoutside for more information. $10.

also today, i received my copy of my latest chapbook, [untitled], published by Propaganda Press. orders are currently being shipped and the early prognosis is good. please visit Propaganda Press for more information. $7.

support your small press and order all the above books today!

Kendra Steiner Editions
sunnyoutside
Propaganda Press

?

i wonder if because Mt. McKinley, the highest point in the US, is in Alaska that makes Gov. Palin an expert on space, too? maybe NASA could use her vast reservoir of knowledge?
or because Alaska has more shoreline than any other state if that makes her a marine biologist, too?

just wondering.

new wordles

i was tooling around with the wordle application and made 4 more. just for fun.

The Declaration of Independence:


The US Constitution:


The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln:


The Emancipation Proclamation by Abraham Lincoln:

[untitled]

i'm very proud to say my newest chapbook, [untitled], published by Propaganda Press, has just been announced for release. here is the publisher's press release:

[untitled]
by justin.barrett
$7.00 [includes shipping to USA]

justin.barrett's newest poetry collection, [untitled], is now available from Propaganda Press. Sixty pages of new material - most of it never before published - [untitled] is a raw and unfiltered look inside justin's life; personal, emotional, loving, questioning. From the metaphoric uses of science to explain loves lost and found to the analytical probing of William Carlos Williams and the red wheelbarrow, this book is a tight collective of simple recollections, moments of details jotted down as they were fleeting, preserved in a cornerstone of justin's mind and a splotch of ink on paper. The poems are at once beautiful and sorrowful, honest and dream-like, sexy and bashful, personal and universal, introspective and outright loud; the apparent paradox of which makes this collection a necessary guide and companion to the contradictions of the everyday.

This book is available from Propaganda Press for $7, which includes shipping to the US. All authors receive and set their own royalties on our press, so the purchase of this book goes to support justin directly. You can purchase this book by sending well-concealed cash, check, or money order made out to Alternating Current, PO Box 398058, Cambridge MA 02139 USA; or you can send us a direct Paypal payment using the email address alt.current@gmail.com. The book will also be available on our website once that is up and running; we apologize for the purchasing inconvenience while the new site is being built.

Please do not ask for comped or traded copies of the book, as this is an unaffordable request that hurts both the author and our press. If you are willing to review this book or get the material in local stores, libraries, or zine collections, please contact us.

here's a photo of the cover, photograph taken by yours truly:

i'm very proud of this book and i think it will go over quite well. lots of poems, some older, some brand-spanking-new. please contact Propaganda Press and purchase a copy. those of you who normally receive one of my author's copies...i'm sorry but i don't receive any this time; you'll have to purchase one. i hope you do!

***as a little extra incentive, leah from Propaganda Press informs me that for a limited time, as long as supplies last, you'll receive an extra chapbook of poetry from the back catalog when you order one of my books. bonus!***

UPDATE: please note that shipping to the US is included in the $7 purchase price. orders shipping outside the US will need to add $3 extra. sorry.

the truth about taxes

Obama will likely lower your taxes. McCain likely will raise them.

by how much you say? go here to find out.

the difference for me was over $2200. And, unlike rich bastards who already have more money than they know what to do with, i'll actually spend mine on bills (which will help the economy...call it trickle UP economics).

word clouds

here's something fun: word clouds for the Obama and McCain nomination speeches. Click the word clouds to see a larger version.

first, Obama's speech:


now, McCain's speech:


and just for shits and giggles, here's the word cloud from that nutcase Giuliani's speech from the RNC:


i doctored Giuliani's speech a little, as you probably guessed. i removed some 9-11 references to help the shape of the word cloud. ;)

check out wordle to create your own. it's fun and there are a variety of fonts, themes and such to use.
here are two i made for the GPP:

share this

this needs to be shared.
the republican spin machine is in full force and the fucking liars, crooks, general miscreants and douchebags are at it again.
but, leave it up to Mr. John Stewart to call them on it.



assholes.
oh, and Rove...Wasilla is the 5th largest city in Alaska, not the 2nd. Douche!
and does anyone else want to punch pinhead William O'Reilly in the mouth? fucking waste. makes the irish look bad.

football, poetry and politics

god damn, it's great college football season is back. GO GATORS!

i've received, and returned, the proof of my latest chapbook, [untitled], to be released by Propaganda Press very shortly. i'm very proud of this book and excited for it's release. i'll post the pertinent information here when it's released.

apparently, and this is brand new information, John McCain was a prisoner of war. did anyone else know this?
man, it might be smart for him to start using that in his campaign; like whenever he can: as excuses for his many mistakes and gaffes, as rebuttals to any questions on his ineffectual and outdated policies, as filler during speeches, as proof he's able to lead this country into war.

new books

the last post mentioned a potential chapbook to come out very soon. well, it has been confirmed. 34 poems, titled [untitled] and will be released by Alternating Current anon. price to be determined.
the Pocket Protector mini-chapbook with them will be out later, December, and will be titled Nowhere, Utah. it'll sell for $3 and is available for pre-order at the above website.
i'll update when they get released.

also, leah angstman, the publisher behind Alternating Currents, has posted a poem titled on poet justin.barrett on her blog. it's flattering having another poet write a poem inspired by reading your work. thanks, leah. :)

NOTE: see the comments section of the August 10th post (Poetry Stuff) below for more information regarding ordering, the Pocket Protector mini-chapbook series, and other stuff by leah and Alternating Current!

real quick

have two new poems up for your viewing pleasure (or displeasure) at His Cock Is Money. there are a variety of styles present in this newly released blog/journal.

there is also some news i will be reporting soon about some new chapbooks to be released by yours truly, probably next month or so. definitely one, but possibly more in the future.

also, don't forget to order your copies of the fantastic broadsides from Ten Point Press. they will be releasing VERY SOON and you WILL be stunned by their beauty. STUNNED!

and, i've not mentioned it in a long while, but the Guerilla Poetics Project is still going strong and we're over 400 logged and registered finds. check it out! all the hip kids are members. don't be the last person on your block to join...

poetry stuff

the second issue of nibble arrived yesterday, and it's every bit as good as the first. great poetry by christopher cunningham, Father Luke, Richard Krech, Christopher Robin, yours truly and many more. great stuff.

i also was recently invited to submit work for a chapbook in Alternating Current' chapbook series title Pocket Protectors. It's a very small chapbook of poems. i've submitted my stuff and will update here when i find out when it'll be published, and how to obtain a copy.

fingers crossed: why i hope we don't find life on Mars

humans have sent many probes towards Mars, some succeeding, some not. the main reason for most of these missions, at least of late, is to find life on Mars, or the evidence that life once existed there. other reasons include looking for water, in the form of ice, and to see if it really is feasible for humans to one day inhabit it.

though the discovery of life on Mars, or the evidence that life once existed on Mars, would be heralded in the newspapers and by most scientists, it could very well be a death knell for humankind (and is certainly something i hope never happens). why?

the Great Filter is why.

10 years ago, Robin Hanson wrote a very compelling article titled, The Great Filter -- Are We Almost Past It?, we he theorizes that life continues, evolutionarily, to fill each ecological niche, and with consciousness and technological advances, humans have done the same. the ultimate end being extra-terrestrial colonization. however, if this colonization is the result of life, and life is so abundant in our universe (as it is typically hypothesized to be), then where are they?
this Great Silence must be explained. one explanation is something called the Great Filter: either one or many very improbable steps that the evolutionary path must take to go from the building blocks of life to colonization.

the crux of the issue is this: if we find NO life anywhere else, it's likely that we've already made it through the Great Filter, having been VERY lucky and fortunate to have done so (obviously). but, BUT, if we do find life elsewhere, no matter how simple, and if we don't encounter any other sentient beings who've colonized other planets, then it's likely we've yet to reach the Great Filter.

it's a very sobering read.
two other articles about the same thing are here and here. (NOTE: the last one is a pdf of Nick Bostrom's great article that appeared in the MIT Technology Review.)

so, here's to hoping Spirit, Opportunity and Phoenix find nothing more than ice, iron oxide dust and basaltic rock.

a shameless plug

in the last post i mentioned 10pt Press and their first 5 broadsides, of which i am proud and honored to be one.
the broadside of my poem (Marriage, as Still Life) is designed and ready to be printed (and it's shit hot!) for an August/September release. Sean Lynch of 10pt Press is taking pre-shipment orders already, and for $5 a broadside (one that is beautiful enough to be framed and hung on your wall, even in your living room where it will look totally awesome), it's a steal. so, please, if you're into my stuff, and you want to own a geniune art object, head over to the website, check out the teaser previews (which show a small part of just how amazing these fuckers are going to look), and send Mr. Lynch an email reserving a copy for yourself. There are only 50 being printed, so they won't be around for too long.

and, while you're at it, reserve a copy of the other 4 (by Tony O'Neill, Christopher Cunningham, Hosho McCreesh, and Brian McGettrick), they promise to be just as scintillating and just as gorgeous. my order for one of each is already in.

/end plug

blinkers and motorcycles and bicycles, oh my (oh, and a poetry update)

i can't believe i didn't discuss this in my previous driving rants, but what the fuck is up with people not knowing how to use a blinker? or even what their purpose is? blinkers (or directionals, for you Europeans among us) are not an afterthought clicked on as you're making your turn, or a compulsory movement you make while you're already in your turning lane.
blinkers are to warn other people what you are about to do, so they don't suddenly ram you with their car. far too many people use blinkers as if they facilitate the turn or something. if you're already in the fucking turning lane, what's the point? put it on before you brake and get into the turning lane.
seriously, people who misuse blinkers piss me off more than those who don't use them at all. if you're willing to use the damn thing, use it properly for christ's sake!

motorcycles. have you suddenly noticed more motorcycles out on the road recently. well, apparently these things get better mileage, which means this sudden increase is a direct result of the rising gas prices. that wouldn't be so bad except controlling a motorcycle isn't easy, and isn't for everyone. with all these morons trading in their Hummers and F-150s for Harleys, without really knowing how to drive the fucking thing, we know have an interstate full of halfwit motorcycle riders (most without helmets, as that's only an optional accessory here in Utah). they're making it even more dangerous to drive on the highways, which is pretty fucking amazing.

well, what can i possibly have against bicycles? nothing, really, except there're more of those, too. and there's a small segment of bicycle riders (i.e. the director of HR for my company...ahem) who REFUSE to use the goddamn bike lane made specifically for them and ride on the edge of the car lane. what the fuck? one of these days: oops, the sun was in my eyes and my side view mirror just caught him. what, i was doing 80 in a 20? and witnesses say i swerved towards him? i don't know about all that, officer, but he was in my lane...
get over into your little, fucking lane, okay guy? christ! i'm bigger than you and the goofy fucking helmet isn't going to save your ass. (seriously, i have nothing against bikes and i'd ride to work if i didn't live so far from work, it's just some people ruin all the fun for everyone else).

poetry updates:
received good news from Jeff Fleming of nibble that two poems have been accepted for future issues. one for issue #2 and one for issue #3. hot damn. glad as hell to be in future issues of this promising new journal.

i also have been selected as one of 5 poets to be included amongst the inaugural releases of the new 10pt Press, out of Ireland. they will be broadsides designed by the ultra-talented Sean Lynch. the other 4 poets are Brian McGettrick, Hosho McCreesh, Christopher Cunningham and Tony O'Neill. a small glimpse of the O'Neill and McCreesh broadsides are available on the website, and i've seen the first draft of mine. all are AMAZING. words cannot describe the beauty these broadside will display. i'm proud as fuck to be included in this project, and with such amazing poets as Chris, Brian, Hosho and Tony!

UPDATE: Sean has posted a teaser pic of the broadside on the 10pt Press website. check it out. the thing just purrs, my friend. sexy as hell. is Lynch a madman genius? the verdict is still out, but i wouldn't bet against it! i know he's half of that, at least. ;)
i've already reserved a copy of all the other broadsides, and i recommend you do the same as these things aren't going to be available for too long. with an Aug/Sept release for them, and only 50 copies printed, most might be sold before they even ship!

some litrachure stuff

it's been a long while since i've updated this thing with anything literary.
well, here goes.

the inaugural issue of nibble arrive in my mailbox today, and it's a fabulous little journal. nibble, published by Jeff Fleming (of CannedPhlegm and Cranial Tempest of yore) out of Oakland, is a journal of short poems. i'm a huge fan and big proponent of the short poem, so this journal was right up my alley. many great poems lie between the pages of this magazine, including one by yours truly. :) pick up an issue or, better yet, support them with a subscription.

and that's it.
oh wait, i have a submission out to Nerve Cowboy, but that's about all. it goes slow here.

i picked up a new typewriter as my other two were shot and repairing them ain't cheap. so, i bought a new one (and by "new" i mean i bought in on eBay and it's new to me). it works great and hopefully will for a long while. maybe this will spark a new era in my writing: one in which i actually write. i'll call it my productive period.

what else?
i just finished A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. my wife read it years ago and said i would like it. i put in on my pile and finally got to it. good book. i understand he made up some shit, some of which were important plot points, but fuck it. yeah, so what, it's an alleged "memoir" but fuck it. we all make shit up, and we have since writing began. do we truly believe Herodotus's history of the ancient land? so, he embellished. fuck it. whatever. it's an entertaining read. the thing that got to me more than the fabrications were the odd stylistic choices in his writing: the strange, misplaced "whoms"...the random capitalizations...the run-on sentences, the need to detail every part of the action (he opened the car door and took out his keys and sat down on the seat and inserted the key and started the car and depressed the accelerator and drove off), and the lack of quotations for speech. all that shit pissed me off more than the outright lies. you had to know reading it that this shit was false, right?

anyhow. whatever. good book. next up: Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. another book my wife recommended. hmmm...

driving redux, and a bit about science

it appears my driving post from a little bit ago did no good at all. it's as if very few people actually read my blog. that can't be.

well, regardless, people are still driving as retarded as ever. and with the increase in gas prices, we've got morons accelerating slower when a red light turns green, or on an interstate on-ramp, or refusing to get anywhere near speed limit (all in the hopes of squeezing a few more miles per gallon out of their Hummers or Suburbans).

i know it'll never change, but it still pisses me off having to negotiate around these dipshits every day.

science.

as most of you know, i work as a scientist. my official title is Scientist III. i studied science in college and have a fairly firm grasp on the scientific method and what it entails. what gets me is how little science is thought of in the general public, to non-scientists (especially politicians). i don't understand this, but it definitely exists. and, i'm not talking about those moonbat creationists who refuse to believe in the soundness of evolutionary biology. i'm talking about the everyday people who work as accountants and waitresses and bus drivers.

i get the sense that most people think science is little changed from early Greek society, when it was in the realm of philosophy, to be debated and argued and discussed; each person with a different "scientific" view of the world. trust me, it's not. nor are we in our basements trying to conjure the final alchemical formula to change lead into gold (or at least we only do that during our spare time).

science is a strict discipline of measuring, formulating, observing, theorizing, gathering more data, fine tuning theories and always (ALWAYS) updating current thought to whatever data we currently have. Newton was right until Einstein came along. it doesn't make Newton wrong, just less precise. Linneaus was all we had until Darwin. and current science builds on the previous work of scientists who've come before us.

so, what does all this mean? it means science is the best "guess" (and by guess i mean best theory based on facts as we know them now) as to how the world works; be it evolution, global warming, quantum physics or the theory of plate tectonics. there might be a discovery later that changes our current thoughts, but it WILL be fact-based.

ignoring science because it seems a little weird (quantum physics) or doesn't jive with your current (religious) world view (evolution) or is politically charged (global warming) is foolish. you do so at your own risk (and in some cases, at the risk of everyone you love). pretty much every major advancement we have seen as a species could be attributed directly to science.

we do i rant about this? i'm just sick and tired of hearing politicians and religious leaders and, well, damn near everyone else bemoan the evil that is science. without science, we wouldn't have tvs, refrigerators, cars, or airplanes. without science, we'd still die from simple bacterial infections and would have a life expectancy somewhere around 40. without science, we would still be worshipping gods and revere men who wear funny hats (oh, wait...). without science, we would still be in the Dark Ages. some people find that comforting, i find it frightening.

thanks, science; we love you!

my results

well, folks, the results are in:
my boys are all swimmers.

the doc says i'm normal in pretty much all categories, except one: motility.
which means they work fine, they're just a touch on the lazy side.
go figure.
the nut doesn't fall too far from the tree, i suppose.

next, they'll tell me my sperm likes to play video games, enjoys sipping on Beamish Stout, and can often be found lying on the couch doing absolutely nothing.
which, now that i think about it, would be weird. what would a couch be doing in my scrotum? and wouldn't i have noticed it down there?

anyway, good to know that i'm not sterile. banner day in the .barrett household, let me tell you!

rip...

May 12 1937 - June 22 2008

what i've been up to

some of you might be wondering what exactly i've been up to during my hiatus. instead of regaling you with my tales of winning multiple Olympic medals and two Nobel prizes, not to mention the numerous humanitarian awards and the Congressional Medal of Honor; instead of all of that, i will just humbly say: nothing. No, instead of tooting my own horn (which you know, from the last post, i'm quite good at) by telling you about the six Pulitzer Prize-winning novels i wrote, or the countless women and children i saved from sure death with bravery and cunning, or about the time i invented a fighter plane, test flew it, armed it, flew a one-man sortee culminating in 65 confirmed air-to-air kills; instead of all of that, suffice it to say that i didn't do very much of anything.

i relaxed. got to know myself a little better (again, see the previous post) and arrived at a point on my journey where i can finally do what i've always loved doing: eating endless bowls of Cap'n Crunch...oh, and writing poetry.

one day, perhaps, i'll spin my grandiose tales for all of your amusement. maybe one day.

today

i masturbated in a public toilet today. and i left my semen on the counter.
oh wait, i should probably preface that by saying that the wife and i are attempting to conceive and are experiencing a little bit of difficulty in doing so. therefore, we both need to be examined to ensure we both are viable and fertile.
so, at lunch today, i headed over to the hospital where i was unceremoniously shuffled into a bathroom and given a specimen cup. the nurse, or whoever she was, told me to leave the cup on the counter when i was done.

i had the option of doing it at home and transporting the...ahem...product to the hospital, but we live about an hour from it and i would need to get it there in an hour and a half. that seemed too close to me, so i chose the second option: making a deposit at the hospital.

let me tell you, guys (and girls, i suppose), there is something really unnerving about being led into a bathroom (by a woman no less) to perform something as intimate as that, with everyone else out there knowing what you're doing. and as unnerving as walking into the bathroom is, walking out is even worse; your face flush with blood, your forehead sweating, your pants oddly bulged...never mind.

i’d been practicing for this moment for many years, so it didn’t take me long; but then, i suddenly got nervous that the speed at which i was able to produce a sample would be noticed by the nurse and the receptionists and the other patients in the waiting room, so i waited. i washed my hands.
three times.
i waited, until enough time passed that it would seem like i’m capable of sustained excitement. i left the bathroom and told the nurse on my way out that the sample was on the counter.

when i got back to work, i felt fabulous: relaxed, vigorous, focused. i noticed a veritable bounce to my step. i bounded up the stairs, taking two at a time. i pinged around the hallways like a plebe cadet. if only i’d known that a lunchtime discharge would produce such a feeling of bliss and tranquility i would’ve jerked off in the bathroom at lunch every day.

if it sounds like i'm oddly proud of the fact that i masturbated in a public toilet and left my semen on the counter, i am. well, maybe not proud so much as strangely not embarrassed.
anymore.
now that it's over.

UPDATE: when i got home i told my wife about what i went through. she said she was proud of me for doing it, and in a bathroom. so, i guess my pride isn't all that strange. or maybe we're both weirdoes, i don't know.
she also said it sounded kinda odd that i had to do this in the bathroom. it was definitely a semen analysis, but i suddenly got scared that maybe they only needed a urine sample. for christ's sake, i said, i left that poor nurse a sample of semen and all she watned was some pee. she was probably wondering what took me so long (well...) and what all those noises in there were. i'm fairly certain i did everything right, but my wife has given me a fright by suggesting it.

it is rather strange, though, that i had to do this in a bathroom. i always thought it would be some kind of room, with videos or magazines (for stimulation). certainly i'd hoped it wasn't covered in shag with stained couches and recliners -- stainless steel to facilitate a complete hosing down would be best -- but, never in my wildest dreams did i imagine it would be a bathroom.
and, the least the nurse could've done was give me a hand (thank you thank you. remember to tip your waitress...).
but, nope. all i got was a specimen cup, a sterile bathroom and my imagination.
i suppose it's good thing it turns out i'm a pervert.

burning bridges

i've been giving this a lot of thought lately (no reason really...i swear). my parents always told me to never burn bridges if i were to ever leave a job; no matter what the circumstances, no matter how much i'd want to. their rationale was that you never know when you might need that person's help in the future, or when your paths might cross again.

it's a good thought, in theory, but i say FUCK THAT. arson is fun.

here's why i think burning bridges is not only acceptable, but often your only option:
1) it can actually lead to some change for those coworkers you are leaving behind whom you like. i've seen, on more than one occasion, where comments made during an exit interview sparked some change in the management. it's not common, but it does happen.
2) it makes you feel better. maybe not the best reason, but it's true.
3) it's always best to be truthful. what does sugar-coating your feelings accomplish? your boss is a douchebag. he's a perfectionist, a nano-manager and ill-suited to communicating effectively to cats, never mind other humans. let it be known, people. plus, if you were to ever find yourself on a bridge that leads in his direction you'll wish it were burned. so burn that motherfucker down.

this really has nothing to do with anything topical or pertinent to being a poet, but it's been on my mind lately. exit interviews are ridiculous, anyway. but, if you truly want to accomplish something, spew away. denigrate everyone you feel deserves it. let them sort through the ashes for whatever remains. fuck it, you've got a new job with a whole new set of assholes to deal with.

driving

i want to take some time to discuss driving. we all do it, and we all hate it. or, at least i do. why do i hate driving so much? it's because of dipshits like you (well, actually i hope you guys aren't the dipshits out there, but maybe you are). i drive over 50 miles a day to commute to my ever-loving job, half of it highway and half of it residential; and it never fails that i will encounter at least one (usually multiple) asshole/idiot/timid driver every single day.

so, what do i see out there? i see people who don't drive with a purpose. driving without purpose is far and away my worst pet peeve. if you don't know where you're going, and you don't know how to get there, and you don't know when you're expected to be there, then do not get in your car and start driving around. if you do have places to be, then fucking go there already. driving without purpose and on a cell phone is liable to get you killed (and not necessarily by an accident, unless me ramming my arm down your throat and pulling out your spine can be considered an accident).

i also notice a shit-ton of people who brake inappropriately (which might not be a big deal when going 20mph, but is a big fucking deal when going 75 on an interstate), who are too timid to make the lane change ("i see someone in my side-view mirrors, oh god...he's nearly 4 miles close to me...what do i dooooo?"), who are too preoccupied with their breakfasts or phone conversations or whatever the fuck else they are doing to realize i'm on their ass in the left lane and flashing my lights for them to move the hell over.

things to watch out for:
1) cars with temporary tags. they are new cars, or at least new to the driver. the driver is either still figuring out the car, or not willing to drive it properly lest they scratch their precious vehicle. be aware of these folks, and prepare for sudden, inexplicable braking as they learn the intracacies of their brakes.

2) Kias, Daewoos, Suzukis. i have no idea why these cars have drivers who have no idea what they hell they are doing, but it seems to be true. now, i know i'm generalizing here. hell, i drive a Saturn and Saturns could easily be lumped in there as well. anyway, invariably, whenever i'm behind a Kia i get caught up in some kind of morass of idiocy as the driver attempts to make an exit on the Interstate, from the left lane, at 35mph or some other such dumbfuckery. the new breed of tiny car is also a part of this, as are the hybrids. (Yaris, Scion, Matrix, Prius, etc.). i have no idea why this is so, but maybe morons are just attracted to this sort of car. i don't know.

3) BMWs. just watch out. trust me.

okay, i'm done with my rant. i apologize if i offended you. if i did, it’s about time you learn how to fucking drive. if i didn't, you probably deal with this crap every day, too, and nodded along.

go ahead and leave a comment of your driving pet peeves. i’m sure there are many. hell, maybe i’m the kind of driver that pisses you off. maybe you can’t stand those drivers who know where they’re going, how to get there and when they need to be there. if so, tough shit.

watch where you’re going folks, follow the flow of traffic and don’t drive distracted. and always be sure to have a purpose for getting behind the wheel.
be safe.

is there anybody out there?

doubtful.
there were very few out there when i wrote this damned thing full time. but, maybe...just maybe...there are some scragglers who check this thing in the hopes that i'll come back. today is your lucky day, you sick puppies (just as today is a shitty day for all editors...you thought you were rid of me. well, think again douchebags!) -- seems i'm back.

of course, my mother is probably the only one who checks this thing anymore. so, HI MOM! love you.

so, what brought about this ignominious return?
well, my good friend Hosho McCreesh informed me, a week ago, that it had been a full year since i hung up my spurs for the soft days of margaritas and 'smores. i hadn't realized. seems like it's been both longer and shorter than that. either way, a year is a long time and i've used it to recharge, to think, to learn, to read all the shit being published out there by all those poemwhore hacks and i realized i needed to rejoin the fray. a sort of attempt to clean up this mess.
just kidding. sorta. but not really.

anyway, lots of shit has happened in the intervening year. maybe i'll get to it in future posts. maybe not. i'm sure i'll hit some of it (like my many trips to Luxembourg and Tangiers and Laos, all the bands i hung out with while they were on tour, all the novels i wrote and won Pulitzers and Nobels for, all the concept cars i helped design and got to drive...maybe i'll get to all that if i have time and run out of interesting stuff to talk about).

what's that? i've dodged the question long enough, you say?
well, the answer is yes. i'm writing again, though haltingly and sparingly, but that's okay. i've become the Stuart Smalley of the small press world. (you remember him, right? i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.) only my mantra is: i'm sick, i'm tired and doggone it, shut the fuck up because i just don't have the time for your incessant whining you fucking, little pansy! oh, and you smell.
i've also decided to give myself a break, and vowed to not put so much pressure on myself to create. i'd lost the enjoyment of writing poetry and when that happened it was only a matter of time before i quit. i'm looking to rediscover that enjoyment again. so far, so good.

work sucks. thought i'd throw that in there. hate it. wish it didn't exist. hate most of the fools there. Utah is a spectacular place, but it sure does breed it's fair (or more than fair) share of weird, foolish, socially-inept people. happens to be that a majority of them work at my company. lucky me.

what else? not much. just glad to be back. and hope to slowly get back into the scene. hope you saved a spot for me.